I'll never play nice again

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I guess its my fault I fell to hard, too fast And I ignored my inner voice playing in my head, he'll break your heart in two it said, over and over again Thoughts spin through my mind a thousand times but still these rhymes are twisted fairytales And its scary how frail I really am, how unstable the ground I stand is shifting my land And I demand he admit his feelings weren't non-existant But he turns as cold as ice, he was my only vice And all my tries were feeble attempts at a glimpse into his soul His only goal to pull me apart, see what makes me tick But the wick of my flame has died all the same And now all I crave is his taste, and the feel of his skin against mine Those dark probing eyes pulling me apart at the seams And now I hold back my screams and let the dark demented things that roam in my mind question what's inside of me I beg you to set me free, let my heart bleed out till there's nothing left to break, because I can't take one more second of this deafening silence It prays on me with violence, screaming like violins; heartwrenching in its sins Another chapter begins and I see its never the end, I'm eternal no matter how badly my soul bends and writhes in pain, I'm not dying, I'm just going insane I wish I could've tamed my emotions, kept you with me a little longer But these feelings come pouring out like oceans Every caress, every kiss, every penetrating gaze I felt my defenses melt, I felt my heart hook deeper into this sadistic game I'll never be the same I can only hope I don't ache for you forever, I can only hope I don't break and this love fever does I hope these chemicals flush from my system I hope my vision clears and my fears abade I hope my heart doesn't fade into numbing coldness I hope my boldness in love doesn't diminish into walls that finish these barriers and wrap around my soul That you don't pull me into oblivion That my sun will rise again, and I can give love another try, another time And hopefully mine will be returned not turned away like a leper trying to play with the distinguished of society My propriety turned to dust when I felt this unquenchable lust This passion; I've never felt such a tragic addiction And the infliction of your rejection was like knives in my stomach, and I just can't stomach this burning pain, this dying connection This is my last grain of comprehension I will fall to descension, I'll suck them all and I'll never break their fall I'll eat their insides and make my rides fast and dirty As the tides begin to push I'll shift alone this time Because I can't handle another tear at my soul My fire will be fueled by lust, and I'll let this love turn to ashes I'll rise again inside this creation I'll never accept another soul invasion This is my final revelation That I cannot station myself to another heartfelt admittance of my truths These wounds will heal, the black and blues that paint my soul in bruises will seal up and I won't give up on life No matter how much this strife rips at my insides, I'll never play nice again.

Fashion Goddess

Coming from a land where personalities were banned, I was forever struggling to fit in with the fads, and when it faded like blue jeans; I became an outcast in a new scene
No longer green with envy at the preppy armies, I no longer aimed to please the barbies
Ragtag fashion became my new passion; but it wasn't me
It was just a new clone army, and I was goth barbie
I blended in with the faded blacks like smudged charcoal
I followed along; dressing in chains and collars, spikes and layers of necklaces against my fishnet fetishes; but then I walked away and my fashion dwindled to cheap retail stores
I was one of the slave-labor whores

My sweet breath of fresh air was you Seattle...
I left that shuttle flown down from planet clone; and from your green palette my true colors shone through, like water glistening on a new shoe
I found my inner voice; my life was filled with color choice and even time-traveling
I was unraveling my layers, and my fashion prayers were answered; when I was surrounded by a hodge-podge of misfits and everyone was their own designer
No one questioned my 70's polyester flower power blouse, no; they looked at me with envy
I felt my fashion goddess powers for the first time, and paisley was on the menu again
Yes this delicious sin of vintage is in
This wondrous fifties dress is draping on my skin...
And I feel free, I feel like I am finally me
I found my style; and it is wild and and versatile just like the scenery; and I'm sure as hell not in any scene but my own
Own your runway, catwalk down your own path
Because rules are for clones; and last I checked I wasn't in any alien experiment, but my own clothing experience