The Game: Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I posted this blog last year, when I was attempting to go back to HS in 12th grade. I was raised as a homeschooled child, and taught how to learn for myself, as well as being taught knowledge passed from my parents. I was taught never to accept anything as base fact, w/out doing my own research. I was encouraged to learn for myself; why something was, how it worked, on top of my parents guidance. I was taught to always stand up for my beliefs, my values, and state my opinion. I was taught that no matter what my age, I was not less than adults just because they were older, or they were authority figures. Look at hitler!

The Game

I have come to the conclusion, that truly, I cannot play the game, because I will not let myself. To truly play the game, I would have to become a minute pawn, and unlearn my awareness. I would have to put myself, into a self-induced sleep. Once aware, truly, openly, and willingly aware, one cannot w/ a clear conscience, go back to sleep.

Every day I get up, at 5:45, I prune and primp, and dress my part, I gather my papers and bags, and laptop, and trudge off to the corner of N. 200th and Wallingford; I wait in the freezing cold 30 degree weather for a bus cram-packed full of teenagers, clogging the windows w/ condensation as I feel the muggy sticky air full of germs, my stomach turns. I listen to their banter in my half-awake trance/daze, meaningless conversations not pertaining to my reality, but to the reality of our information-depraved youth.
I cannot look into the future and see myself riding bus #26, every single day for the rest of the school year. Then the bus pulls to a stop in front of the jam packed system of ants, as they wander in herds to classrooms full of information more outdated then the building it is taught inside. And I watch in horror, as I too, wander off in my herd, to my classroom, as the bell rings. I take my seat in my first period, as I daze off, and my mind wanders; I question why I sit here relearning information, at an incredibly slow and disgustingly tedious rate.
Previous to this adventure in the government-run land of preset curriculum's, I was learning at my own pace, with library books on everything that fascinated me, and videos and materials, that I seemed to consume like a healthy snack.
I learned much quicker this way, and I realize this system is designed to pull us down into a vicious replaying cycle of old information regurgitated onto thousands of young minds every year, to keep us in the proper boxes, where they think we belong.
Subjects come up that I disagree with, and they ask me shut my mouth, to sit down and pretend I agree with everything; not to follow my own sources, books and links. They ask me to learn solely from the materials they have given me. To truly understand an undiluted version of history, of government, of science, of art, one must hear all sides of the story, or fall pray to a cycle of stagnation; never growing, learning, becoming, or understanding. Retaining only the information fed to us, so that we may become carbon copies of information, instead of people w/ opinions and ideas.
I cannot play this game when truth bleeds from the corners of every lie I watch them spit out onto papers. I will play the game where it suits me.
This reality is filled w/ knowledge, yet ignorance is the disease that seems predominant in minds. As a person, I will not accept the constants, the barriers and walls placed in an "as is" reality; because I will grow old, and regret everything I never learned, every thing I never pursued, and die as an individual living apart of a mass agreed consciousness.
To truly pursue ones dreams, one must first understand what those dreams are, one must dabble in many arts and sciences, politics and experiences, and whatever it is they feel most acutely attracted to, mostly passionately desire, that is their calling; and one should never ignore its voice. We should chase after that dream, and make it our reality.
I feel that the school system dilutes and clogs our minds, filling us w/ an unnecessary amount of pointless information, so that we are so overwhelmed, we cannot truly let our minds clearly understand and see what we are being told; resulting in the blurring of our vision. We become confused w/ the over-inundation of information, and agree only because we don't know any better. I believe as people, we have endless potential, endless possibilities, but we are restrained, restricted, and told where to go and what to believe. The majority of these students will graduate only to work a minimum wage job, settle down, and raise a family, barely getting by; another slave to our economy.
This game is not about the faces of politicians, the laws of our government; it's about power. We are the slaves, and to remain as such, we are required to participate in the programs that continue our ignorance. The bus drivers, the teachers, the janitors, construction workers, cashiers and clerks, and so on, and so forth; they play the game and continue feeding the monster, as it grows, we weaken. We allow it to feed off of our energy, our hearts, the very essence of our beings we pour into these slave jobs, and for what? Clothes made in third world countries, cheap genetically modified food; poisoning our bodies? We are given a slaves necessities, and our consciousness is too bedraggled, too torn and beaten to fight back. I, as a person, and a being, will no longer participate in this game.