Living Dream

Wild Foraging Trip: 6/29/08

2008-06-29T23:55:00.001-07:00

So this morning, my cat brought me a present, as usual...

I suddenly decided, why waste perfectly good bird meat? My cat never eat his birds, he kindly snaps their necks though, unlike most cruel house cats, who toy with their prey until they are beyond recognition.
So I wrapped it in a plastic bag and stuck in the fridge in preparation for dinner.

My mom picked up some of my favorite wild veggie flower today, Milkweed:

They have lots of bugs they coexist with in their habitat, so we have to soak them for several hours until all the bugs float to the surface. They have to be processed multiple times. By pushing them into the water, with the flat of your hands, the bugs float to the surface. Drain the water, and repeat about 3 times.

Shadow and I then proceeded on a wild foraging hunt, for the rest of our night veggies!
The first things we came across were LOTS of prickly lettuce!
Prickly lettuce must be cooked until the spines on the stalk are soft.
I like to cook them in walnut oil and soysauce, with garlic.

The second thing we found on our trip, were yucca pods!
The seeds taste amazing, like a nutty mini water chestnut.
I stirfry them in my veggie stirfries.

The need to be cut down the middle, at the intersecting points. Then the seeds will pop out. This demonstration is done by Shadows hands! :)

By the time we were done, we had a half filled bowl, this is just a few pods worth.

Afterwards we found a bit of mullein, and continued picking our prickly lettuce along the way. The mullein is a slight sedative, great for relaxing tea, mixed with either mint, sage, clover, etc. The leaves are soft and fuzzy.

We proceeded on our journey, and found some fairy ring mushrooms, or LBM's(lil brown mushrooms) if you will. They were in some manicured grass outside of a business. They love the water!

We stopped in front of 7 Eleven and hit the jack pot of food!
I found a meadow mushroom, just one...but there were two dead ones next to it, so I have a mushroom pickin' spot!

The underside of the sweet scented meadow mushroom:

Among our finds were some Lambsquarters, which grows prolifically everywhere!
The flower heads I find to be really enjoyable, the rest of the plant tastes similiar to spinache, but BETTER, and it IS in the spinache family. Although, it doesn't have the bad side effects of spinache. We don't need arm tumors like Popeye!

Lambsquarters flowerheads:

Full grown Lambsquarters:

Below is some Plantain, which is good for sore muscles, bruised muscles, and used in healing salves. The indians put in their shoes to protect their feet on long journeys, and heal the sore muscles. The leaves are also used in healing salves. When the seeds mature to a darkened blackish color, they can be stripped and cooked in butter and eaten by themselves, thrown on salads etc.

We collected a huge bag of dandelion greens, they are slightly bitter, and they are best collected young, as they get more bitter as they age. The flowers can be cooked in butter, used in baking, etc. The flowers may also be eaten raw.

We picked some sage on our way home:

When we got home, I dug a fire pit to cook our little bird, and started a fire, putting wood on three times until we had built up enough coals to cook our bird.

While Shadow threw the whole bird in, feathers and all, I cooked the stirfry.
We combined all of the above ingredients, with some fresh garlic and red onion, and stir fried it up.

The bird looked mighty tasty when he was done:

We then combined the stripped bird meat with the stirfry, and voila!

It was INCREDIBLE tasting, needless to say; today was a good day. A beautiful epic wild food adventure, that ended in bliss. A hard days work, and we have plenty of veggies for our week to come!

I'll never play nice again

2008-05-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I guess its my fault
I fell to hard, too fast
And I ignored my inner voice playing in my head, he'll break your heart in two it said, over and over again
Thoughts spin through my mind a thousand times but still these rhymes are twisted fairytales
And its scary how frail I really am, how unstable the ground I stand is shifting my land
And I demand he admit his feelings weren't non-existant
But he turns as cold as ice, he was my only vice
And all my tries were feeble attempts at a glimpse into his soul
His only goal to pull me apart, see what makes me tick
But the wick of my flame has died all the same
And now all I crave is his taste, and the feel of his skin against mine
Those dark probing eyes pulling me apart at the seams
And now I hold back my screams and let the dark demented things that roam in my mind question what's inside of me
I beg you to set me free, let my heart bleed out till there's nothing left to break, because I can't take one more second of this deafening silence
It prays on me with violence, screaming like violins; heartwrenching in its sins
Another chapter begins and I see its never the end, I'm eternal no matter how badly my soul bends and writhes in pain, I'm not dying, I'm just going insane
I wish I could've tamed my emotions, kept you with me a little longer
But these feelings come pouring out like oceans
Every caress, every kiss, every penetrating gaze I felt my defenses melt, I felt my heart hook deeper into this sadistic game
I'll never be the same
I can only hope I don't ache for you forever, I can only hope I don't break and this love fever does
I hope these chemicals flush from my system
I hope my vision clears and my fears abade
I hope my heart doesn't fade into numbing coldness
I hope my boldness in love doesn't diminish into walls that finish these barriers and wrap around my soul
That you don't pull me into oblivion
That my sun will rise again, and I can give love another try, another time
And hopefully mine will be returned not turned away like a leper trying to play with the distinguished of society
My propriety turned to dust when I felt this unquenchable lust
This passion; I've never felt such a tragic addiction
And the infliction of your rejection was like knives in my stomach, and I just can't stomach this burning pain, this dying connection
This is my last grain of comprehension
I will fall to descension, I'll suck them all and I'll never break their fall
I'll eat their insides and make my rides fast and dirty
As the tides begin to push I'll shift alone this time
Because I can't handle another tear at my soul
My fire will be fueled by lust, and I'll let this love turn to ashes
I'll rise again inside this creation
I'll never accept another soul invasion
This is my final revelation
That I cannot station myself to another heartfelt admittance of my truths
These wounds will heal, the black and blues that paint my soul in bruises will seal up and I won't give up on life
No matter how much this strife rips at my insides, I'll never play nice again.

Death

2008-03-25T22:12:00.001-07:00

Your words are like poison
Dripping in my ear with lies and filling my eyes with tears
Over the years you've chased me
Fulfilling the prophecy of your self chosen name, you are toxic in your games
I hear your tone, your voice and your words and I feel disgust
I feel hatred
I feel weariness in my state...
I rid myself of you, and then you pulled me back in
Psychically stalking me in our remaining connection
I should have taken the rejection
I should have left when you cursed my dreams
When you ripped apart the seams of my reality
Everything you say is a trap, a trick, a mind fuck
Your pessimistic attitude has given you coyotes luck
Why did I stick around?
I'm turning numb from the sound of your voice
Its gone on too long
I feel this has been nothing but a battle, and this song has been filled with sorrow
I feel your watching me
My every move, my every action
Your paranoia has spread like a disease
Please let me be free...
This toxic release has left these tumors to decease
I know who you are...
Your one of them
The dirty watchers that bend this reality to your slave mindset
Your own kind ruined you
And you let them, you took their pills and played their game, you were their victim because you strayed
You strayed from their path, you began to fall in love with me and love yourself as well
But you never severed them from your spyche
Why keep them around?
Why stay bound to the puppet masters that sound your actions
Why stay numb in your reactions, is emotion that painful?
I've loved you with all of my heart, I gave you all of myself
Sacrificed myself to your tortures
I let you burn me and scorch me time after time
I gave excuses for this rhyme
I gave excuses for my love, and I stuck around, blaming myself
Not listening to the sound of your words, to the hurt you inflicted
I must be masochistic
I must admit I loved the physical pain
I loved the hate I felt when we fucked
It was our only remaining passion
I loved tearing up your body with my teeth
I felt so much hate that I wanted to kill you and meld with you simultaneously
I promised myself if you were truly the enemy
I'd kill you in the end
I'd make love to your dying body and lick at your wounds
I'd stab you until we were covered in your blood
I made love to the enemy...
I slept in his bed and I loved him
I know you'd deserve the pain
And without your nectar you'd feel every bit of it
And I'll feel pure bliss when I kiss the blood off your lips
When I slide my tung inside your mouth and taste you
When I fuck your dying body
I want to feel your hands clawing at my tits
I want to feel you rip me up inside
I want to ride your slippery bloody body
I want to fuck you as you die
I want to watch your soul fly away

Come and play

2008-03-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

Life is a movie
An independant film of everyone's life
Life is a photoshoot, and we'll pose while those memories trigger the camera
Flash, its imprinted in our receptors...and those memories will fade like old photos until the faces are a blur, and the background is a tattered sepia
Life is the page out of a story book, and as we turn the pages, our history and future unfolds before our eyes like a pop-up book
Life is a poem, it flows with our sorrows, our woes, our happiness and this prose is just the beginning of the words we'll say...
Life is a play, a stage we act out in our rage, in our pains, in our gains, in our love and our hopes
And when you pull the ropes the curtain folds back, and we'll never hold back
We'll give you all our passion, all our dreams, and inside this will be our biography
There is no choreography, only the self-conscious guessing of our actions will prevent us from becoming great actors of our lives
Life is a painting, and we are the colors that splash across its canvas and create its true soul...
Life is full of mystery, our history is only the past repeated, so don't stay seated...don't watch us play, come and join in the game.

Starphyre's Poetry: The monster inside him

2008-02-26T23:11:00.000-08:00

Break-up- 2/26/08
This is the night Sam and I broke up, the day before he left to Chicago.
I haven't edited it, because this is how I felt...he cut me off in the middle of the poem and kicked me off his computer so he could start packing it up.

I feel so cold inside
I held on so tight
Wishing it was right
Hoping everything would be alright in the end
I tried to bend your willpower for you
Tried to show you a better way
I tried to play nurse in your psychiatric care
Fuck I feel like that whole time I wasn't even really there
Did you ever really look at me?
Or just through me...
Well now I think you've been secretly through with me
Me and my straight-laced ways
Me and my anti-drug phrase
Me and my individualistic optimistic pace
Me and every place we've ever been
Can we really look back, and find a time when we weren't struggling
To get through every day
To stay friends, to make ends meet while buying your addictive treat?
What the hell was I thinking, sitting in this seat I've chained myself too
Forgetting WHO I was
I know you love me
I know you care
But not for who I am, but what I do for you
You want a mother, and yours doesn't want you
You want to run back
To everything you ever were
You miss those days, where you were in control
And the drugs controlled you
You pulled me away
Into your deep dark depressive hole
And I know, you'll find someone new
I know prospects are already flying through your head
I know you've wanted to leave for a long time
And I realize this time I have to let you go
I'm holding everything in
Not one tear has fallen on my skin
My stomach is clinched in
My jaw tightened
My heart cracking like an old photograph
I can't breath
I feel like if I do all this pain will come pouring out
And I'll run right back to you
Begging you to stay
Falling pathetically at your feet
I can't let you defeat me again
I can't let you see me weak
I can't let you speak those swaying words
Pulling me back into your demented trap
I saw who you were
A mask
A facade
A drug I came down off of
Isn't it ironic?
Pathetic in every way
Your tears falling on my shirt
I saw those sorrowful eyes
The self-pity
And I've given enough tries
I don't deserve to hear another drunken slur
To watch another opiate nod
Your aren't my god
I won't worship you
I won't trade my soul for your pleasure
You won't break me
And I won't take you back
No I won't crack under the pressure
I won't look in your eyes
I won't let you touch me
I won't let you pull me back into oblivion
Your true colors shown through
Every time we make it better, the "good days" are shorter, and shorter
I had so much hope
So much faith
Was it all a waste?
Did I come all this way just for a broken heart and pieces of myself scattered across the netherverse
I won't repeat this verse, because I know you were just a curse
Just a plague that raged across the oceans of my soul
Just a disease my heart was taken by
And now I'll cut you out
I'll slice those memories out of my mind
I'll put them away, in a box is where they'll stay
And then someday, when the pain is just a numb stain, a withered scar
I pull them out again
I'll remember the good times, and forget the bad
I won't be mad anymore, I won't be sore of this numbing hurt
No...I'll soar away with these wings you tied behind my back
I'm fucking numb
I'm as numb as the toxic nectar you swallow
But I won't leave, I won't become the hollow shell left behind
I won't let you bind me to our past
I won't let your guiltrips rip at my consciousness
I won't bleed for you, and I won't seethe for you
I won't hold onto what you've done to me
I'll move on, I'll get ME back
I'll remember who I was
And I know I'm not alone
No...unlike you I didn't burn my bridges, I didn't hurt everyone in my path
I know you'll never find anyone as good as me
But that's not what you want...you want someone as low as you, to make you feel better
Is that why you loved me when I was just a self-hating recluse?
But you don't REALLY have an excuse
Although they may pour out of your mouth like woven stories; they're all lies and follies
Your just a manipulative FUCK
I think you feed off my light
Off my happiness and dreams
I think you eat them up and inside of you are the screams of everyone you've ever destroyed

A crossroad

2008-02-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

*Note: I wrote this in my emotional distress over choosing to stay with my ex, or leave him. My views were slightly askew in my opinion.

It seems to me that every major, small, incidental detail of one's life always ends up back at a multi-choice crossroad.
And here it is; the ever present crossroad of my life is back to haunt me; signs are pointed in multiple directions...and even when I know deep inside the "right"path i should be taking, that damn beating writhing organ in my chest tells me otherwise every time.
Its a cruel game; walk away from the thing you spent so much time investing in, so you can move on and grow as person.
But it seems to me that the risks are so great; love is the hardest thing to let go of; even if toxic or hindering.
It seems so cruel that after all the memories; shared sorrows and joys, that it can all be destroyed by the jealous hurt will of another.
Retaining friendship after being so close is like struggling to keep the thread of a running sweater tucked away where no one can see...eventually it will all come undone, leaving you naked and exposed.
I saw I was in a cage, and the question is; will the person who put me in a cage be willing to sacrifice their ego and fears to keep me, or will they push me away by trying retain that last bit of delusional haze over me?
The truth is, it isn't love if they keep you tethered up like an animal...
Why; in my experiences do men feel they need to keep creatures locked away with no will of their own? Is it because they feel their power to be so limited that they have to do whatever they can to feel in control?
In my own way; I'm just as controlling; but for the opposite of reasons...I cant stand to sit on the sidelines and watch the person I am with destroy themselves; it isn't healthy for me, or them.
I have to deal with the consequences of their self-destruction; it takes away from my life, from my time, and drains my spirit of its very life-force and essence.
I will always be optimistic; the person who hopes for the best; for the changes I wish to believe in people; but time and time again I am let down.
I believe that I will always hope for the best no matter how much it hurts me, I have to be true to who I am, and always believe in the people in my life...

Reliv: Miracle cure, or scam?

2008-02-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

Let me ask you a question...
If someone told you that your cancer could be cured, your achy bones could finally withstand the winter, your acne could be demolished, your wrinkles could be tightened without botox, or that every health problem you had, could be cured by drinking a shake; would you believe it?

In my opinion, I think the majority of the human race would like to believe in such a miracle cure.
And is it impossible? No...there are truly miracle products out there, such as Blue Green Algae, or its refined cousin StemEnhance. But; the truth is Americans don't have the time, patience, or necessary knowledge to do their own research.
Americans are ripe fruits waiting to be picked by all the greedy scammers waiting right there, in the light; with pictures of healthy faces and "authentic testimonies". The pages are covered with comforting words about how "simplicity and convenience are all you need in a supplement". And yet; there are no ingredients listed on the page, no information on the product besides an information request form. But innocent people are being scammed out of their money, these are working-class Americans who can't afford the medical treatment they need; they believe they have nothing to lose by spending $61 dollars on a supplement, because they are desperate for an answer. These companies know your weaknesses; they see a simple idea, and hopeful Americans wanting only to live a healthy life. They don't care about anyone but themselves, and their pocketbook.

I recently met a woman, at a temp job I am working, who is a seller for a product called "Reliv".
I knew from the instant she told me about it, that at 61.00 dollars this product was a scam.
She told me it cured her turrets, her migraines, and the health problems of her family members, and other people she knows through her "distributor network".
When I proceeded to ask her how it was processed, and what the ingredients were, she told me; "I'm not a scientist, I just know it works" and "Its been developed by scientists"
Anyone can be a scientist, if they have a brain and an education.

I went home and did my own research, I knew she expected me to be sold on her miracle cure, after her flagrant lies about how she had known of customers who have had their Grave's Disease cured(which I mentioned I had, before she said anything). She is an actress; literally, a broadway actress. I'm smart enough to know when someone is trying to play me, and I damn well won't take anything that doesn't have an ingredients list.
The bottom line, after searching through several dead end pages, its a protein shake made of soy, with a combination of vitamins, and herbs. All available at a very discounted price when buying in bulk from an herbal store, or online from a vitamin supplier such as NOW.
The grand total is 61.00 for the shake, but its other product lines include; a weight lost miracle cure, an acne treatment, etc etc.
These companies are giving supplements a bad name. We are in a constant war against the AMA, and the government, just to keep our natural supplements, and companies like this are the very evil giving us a bad name.

The dangers of soy are also very prevalent if one does enough research, it is a cheap mass produced grain, that a large portion of the populace is allergic to. How safe can a supplement without its ingredient listed be?

I encourage you to do your own research, before wasting money. It takes a couple minutes out of your day, as opposed to several days of labor lost to a "miracle cure". Can your family or you really afford to guess at the benefits of a mystery miracle product?

We're just the working class

2008-02-04T23:12:00.001-08:00

Who are you
To look down on us;
The "working class" you consider pus
An infection we must be, in the eyes of your perfection
We build your high-rises and shine the windows reflecting our shiny sweat covered faces
Who are you
To look down on other races
Until you taste this blood and tears you've never known years of hardship
Who are you
On your private ship; sipping wine labored from a farmers efforts
Served to you on a silver platter
You can scatter the pieces of the chessboard any way you please;
and believe we'll always be on your leash
You tease us with petty treats, gifts to keep us quiet
Always dangling the carrot, forever re-angling the incentive
Just over that forever horizon
The prize on the end of the stick; as we stick our noses right up your asses
We're just the lower-classes
The majority, the gun-wielding hard workers of society
So where is your propriety when your pissing your pants
When your given a slaves rations
Where are your detached passions as you watch the starving child clinging to her mother
And you; with your expensive whore-lover, thinking she's nothing but a money-grubber
But can you see from her eyes
When theres nowhere left to turn
And all you yearn for is power; not dreams, hopes, or wishes
As she kisses you goodbye; you'll never see the tears of shame she hides
Your one night rides; an already faded memory
A degrading power-trip, to make your dick feel big
But your nothing; behind the suit, the education and plastic surgery
Just an animal afraid to get dirty

Confessions of a raw foodist: Part II

2008-02-03T11:34:00.000-08:00

In the beginning of my diet I ate the following:

* Note: All references to olive oil and vinegar, are extra virgin cold pressed olive oil, and raw apple cider vinegar (with the mother). All references to mustard are apple cider vinegar mustards.

*Note: The marinated red peppers, capers, & olives are all naturally fermented/preserved in salt, apple cider vinegar, or lemon. All references to eggs are cage-free organic, local, fertile eggs.

Meals:

Ground beef rolled in cheese and sesame seeds, dipped in soy sauce

Ground beef mixed with various roots, and nuts, and cheese balled up and dipped in olive oil and vinegar with spices, soy sauce, or Dijon mustard

Ground beef lettuce wraps;
Romain lettuce, radish slices, grated carrot, turnip, burdock etc…olive oil and vinegar(red wine or balsamic)salt and pepper, olives, capers, marinated red peppers, cheese, pecans, sesame seeds, walnuts, almond slices, etc.

Ground beef sushi rolls:
Cheese, cucumber, avocado, sesame seeds, bell pepper, radish, etc rolled up in
nori, sliced and dipped in soy sauce.

Nori rolled with sashimi(Salmon or Ahi tuna), avocado, cucumber, olives, cheese, spices, sesame seeds, soy sauce etc.

Entrees:

Eggs;
Over easy-yolk unbroken for dipping ground beef or lunch meat slices
Scrambled eggs with;
Raw homemade salsa, raw cheese on top of cold salsa to prevent pasteurization, tomato, green pepper, spring onion, bacon, ham, etc… all ingredients were optional

Lunch meat such as;
Roast beef, ham, pastrami, salami, sausage, deer salami, deer sausage, and bacon.
Ham and cheese meat rolls

Lunch meat lettuce wraps:
Cucumber, bell pepper, radish, olive oil and vinegar, spices, olives, capers, cheese, etc

*Note: All lunch meat is all natural, nitrate and nitrate free.

Large amounts of salad;
Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, radish, tomato, cucumber, avocado, carrot, various greens, various roots…

Salads were topped with;
Grated raw cheese, raw nuts, olives, capers, red peppers marinated, spices, etc

Cold Mexican avocado soup
Blended avocado with water, spices, salsa, olive oil
Topped with; tomato, spring or red onion, or broken up bacon, and raw cheddar

Fried plantain chips in palm oil;
Covered with sliced raw cheese, dipped in guacamole, or salsa, or topped with ground beef

Treats:

Fruits;
Oranges, apples, bananas, mangos, strawberries, cherries, peaches, apricots, pears

Homemade raw fruit/nut date bars
Honey, almond flour, raw almonds, dates, dried pineapple, dried apricot, dried raisins, shredded coconut, raw chocolate powder, raw pecans, cinnamon, etc.

Shredded coconut mixed with honey and pecans.

Nuts:
Pistachios, raw walnuts, raw almonds, raw sesame seeds, raw pecans, sunflower seeds

Fruit salad;
Apple and shredded carrot salad with raisins, preserved with EM, flavored with raw coconut fat, lemon juice, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla powder/glycerin, and raw honey
Mix fruit salad;
Previously frozen or fresh mix berries, strawberries, oranges, apples, bananas, pineapple etc.
Orange pecan fruit salad;
Oranges, pecans, cinnamon, honey, raw milk whipped cream

Fruit smoothies with;
Banana, raw coconut fat, frozen berries, raw milk, raw chocolate powder, raw cocoa nibs, raw honey, vanilla powder/glycerin (all ingredients optional, and not all mixed in at the same time)

Dark chocolate bars (75-90%)

Dried/Freeze-dried fruit:
Bananas, mango/spiced mango, apple, pineapple, raisins, shredded coconut, candied ginger, strawberries, apricots, prunes, etc

The way my current diet has changed, and what it now includes:

Ground beef (no added flavors or ingredients)

Salad: Greens & cucumber, with olives, and raw cheese
Olive oil and apple cider vinegar/lemon juice salad dressing

Occasional fruit;
Apple slices, half an orange, mango, cherries, blueberries

Dried fruit;
Pineapple, candied ginger

Nuts; Raw pistachios, raw pecans, raw sesame seeds, raw almonds

Cheese;
Raw sheeps milk, raw cows milk, raw cheddar and raw hard cheeses.

Nori; dipped in olive oil, with truffle oil, oregano, redmond sea salt
Wrapped around cucumber and avocado slices with cheese

I no longer eat fish raw fish, as it does not settle with my stomach.
Everything in my previous diet that I cut out is because it had side effects, or my body told me to discontinue eating it.

I enjoy my diet being as basic as it is, and so does my health!

I recommend the previous diet for those who are just beginning on the path of an RVAF diet, as it will help the transition from cooked food to raw, having plenty of treats and dressed up foods to compensate for the cooked food craving.

When you first start out on an RVAF diet, the best thing to do is experiment. Every person is different, and will have different reactions to different foods, keep an open mind; but listen to your body.

Recent works: Shirt bag

2008-02-02T23:35:00.000-08:00

I made a bag to hold my sewing supplies! I used an old shirt my mom gave me, originally a velvet spaghetti strap, next time I'll include before and after, as well as process pictures. I just got caught up in the moment! I sewed the top up, to make the bottom, and the bottom I used the folded over seam as a draw-string. I then added a small pocket from a used lace shirt I had, and sewed on a button, for a closer.

The bag:

The shoelace draw-string closed:

The pocket detail:

Here are some new pictures I've drawn, until I get access to a working scanner they are all going to be my low-qaulity cellphone pictures!

A woman:

Her face I got from a sleepy hallucination in my favorite blue scarf, her pose from a picture of Jennifer Aniston:

Eating raw food: Its all about attitude; Part III

2008-01-31T16:23:00.000-08:00

In my previous blog, I wrote about my first social experience on this diet, and how it has impacted me.

Over the holidays this year, during Christmas, my family and my fiance an
d I were invited to a family Christmas dinner, at my Uncle's and his girlfriends house.
My uncles girlfriend(I'll call her S)had given my mom and dad a Whole Foods gift card, and told my mom to buy her and I a special raw fish feast for the holiday dinner, so we wouldn't feel left out.
My mom had bought Ahi tuna, salmon, seaweed, raw sheeps milk cheese, cucumber, avocado, and various other little treats. S joined us in our raw food dinner, and didn't even eat any of the turkey, or cooked food the guys were indulging in. She enjoyed it very much, and even wanted to start eating it more often.
My mom and I on the other hand had a very different experience; we began to feel slightly nauseous from eating the raw fish, and it felt like there were rocks sitting in our stomachs.
All I wanted was my raw ground beef, and I really felt like my instincts were telling me not to eat raw fish anymore.
My mom and I felt that our instincts were confirmed after reading this post on Live-Food(a group ran by Vinni Pinto) Recipe For Disaster
You can also join the group, and learn more about this diet.

I have learned that people just want you to be apart of things. Good friends and family will go out of their way to integrate you into their lives, no matter how different you are, or how you eat.

In my experiences, few times have I had blatantly horrified and rude people, attacking me for my way of life.

When I was working at St. Vincent De Paul in Seattle, WA, there was a woman there who I worked shifts with. When she found out that I ate raw meat, she was so shocked and horrified that she went around literally yelling it to my entire crew, and telling them to come look at what I was eating. At first, I felt pretty alienated...but I took it in stride, and no matter what she said to me, I counteracted her words with positives. As her and I started working together more, she actually told me that she thought it was really cool that she knew someone who ate raw meat, and that she liked the fact I was different. She also told me that she may have thought I was weird at first; but she thought I was just so nice and kind that she really didn't think I was that weird anymore.

In my opinion, the way the vegans and vegetarians eat is detrimental to their health; but I will defend their right to eat that way. Why? Because it is everyone's personal right to live life how they want, and I can understand that some people literally cannot bring themselves to harm animals, because their conscious will attack them. No; I do not think it is healthy, but it is not my right to tell them how to live their lives. The only thing I can do is recommend healthy supplements for the health problems caused by such diets.

Over time; I have come to a lot of realizations, and I have had mini-battles in myself over eating my food in front of others; on occasions such as work lunches. But I know, that as long as I have pride, and confidence, that people will not look at me like an alien, but a person with a different way of life.

Eating raw food: Its all about attitude; Part II

2008-01-31T01:54:00.000-08:00

In my original blog; called; Eating raw food: Its all about attitude: Posted on; Thursday, August 9, 2007
I wrote about my perspective, and experiences eating raw meat.
That was 5 months ago; in this post I am writing about my first social experience on the RVAF diet.

In march, before this blog was put out; I moved to Illinois to be with my current fiance. I moved in with his friends, a couple and their 3 year old.
I had only been on the diet for about a month at the time, but the couple was very accepting of it. The wife(I'll call her A)was especially "protective" of my diet.

One day her husband(I'll call him R)and my fiance and I went to pick up my meat from the grocery store. R noticed that the ground beef in the bulk butcher section was on sale for only $1.99 lb. So I got a huge package of 5 lbs, and we went home.
On our way home, R decided to randomly tell me that the reason it was so cheap, is because it was all the meat that was going bad, ground up and set out. Needless to say I was a LITTLE mad, that he failed to tell me this when we were at the grocery store.
When we got home I opened the package, and took a bite. It was DISGUSTING; it tasted like old warm mushy nastiness.
My boyfriend Sam had asked me if he could make a cooked hamburger with it. I said yes; as he proceeded to pat the ground beef into a patty, it was so mushy and gross he was horrified, and couldn't even bring himself to make a burger with it.

A was very mad, and told me; "We're gonna take that meat back, and if they won't let you return it, I'll tell them that you eat raw meat, and this meat is old and gross and you want a refund!" She also told me we could try Aldi's meat(the local poor people grocery outlet)and that she would cover me and we could poke a hole in one of their meat packages and I could take a bite and see if it was any good.
Her husband R was horrified; "A! You can't do that, are you really going to do that? You better not poke a hole in the meat and eat it!" A and I laughed and winked at each other as we told R; "Uh sure we won't..."
We went to the grocery store and returned my meat, only to find out that the good meat was the same price as the gross meat.
We picked up 5 packages; at the time I only ate one pound a day, of 15% fat ground chuck.
A and I drove over to Aldi's, and we walked in; meandering around, pretending to check everything out. We went by the meat cooler, and A stood in front of me; I was too nervous to poke the hole in the meat package myself; so A did it for me and handed me a chunk of ground beef.
I popped it in my mouth; it wasn't terrible, but it sure wasn't good. I shook my head at her; "no."
Then we walked our happy butts back to the SUV and headed home.
Of course when we told her husband R what we'd done, he was horrified, and proceeded to berate us for our illegal activities.

A few days later A did something I would have never expected ANYONE to do...
Now A was very motherly, she liked to cook for everyone, make sure the house was immaculate, do everyone's laundry....etc.
Unfortunately I'm the same way; just a little more specific about how I do things. My laundry is mostly high quality vintage and couture clothes, therefore only jeans and t-shirts can be washed in the washer.
She attempted to do my laundry one morning, and as I was coming down the stairs, I stepped into the kitchen and she told me she was loading my laundry. I was horrified, and ran up to her and started to grab my delicates out of her evil crappy washer. I thanked her, but politely let her know that the clothes couldn't be washed in a washer.
I then went to get my food out of the fridge; suddenly she cuts in front of me, and tells me she made my breakfast. She then opens the fridge, and hands me a plate with ground beef lettuce wraps with plastic wrap over them.
I am in shock, horror, speechless...
She had even poured balsamic vineger, and salt and pepper on them, grated carrot, and sliced up radishes. She had prepared them just as she'd seen me do. Needless to say I could not believe that someone had actually made me my raw meat breakfast...
At this point in my diet I was still very much into putting preparation in my food, because I was still slightly squeamish about the taste of my ground beef.
I was horrified at the fact that someone else's hands had prepared MY ground beef. I mean it was raw, I only wanted my hands to touch it; it felt like an invasion...

Although it was awkward and unsettling, I really appreciate A's efforts to make me feel at home, and included in things.
R and S were the first people I ever ate my raw meat in front of, and because of their kindness and non-judgmental attitude, I really feel that it helped my confidence in my social experiences on my diet.

In my next blog I'll cover my most recent social experiences, and how my family reacts to my way of life.

Dream Interpretation: Evil Green Puddle

2008-01-31T00:32:00.000-08:00

My dream:

Sam and I are out; and we suddenly remember we're supposed to be at the grocery store. We get there, and for some strange reason we end up being there all day, and I'm starting to get sick from lack of food. We apparently won some $90 dollar shopping spree, and we are checking out at the cash register. But; all the groceries are things the ladies that work there picked out for us, and they are all junk-food, and poisons. I am horrified, and I tell the cashier to just take everything back. I ask if we can go on our free shopping spree another day; and they tell me no. It has to be today. So; by this time I'm starting to get really sick; and Sam ends up going ahead of me and shopping. I suddenly get really dizzy and weak and fall on the floor, almost passing out. The ladies that work there surround me, and are asking if I'm OK. I'm realizing I just need my meat, and I get up really weakly, and start looking for Sam. He's in one of the isles, and once I see him I tell him what's up with me; and that I have to get something to eat. I then proceed to the meat isle, and grab a pack of ground beef; I'm thinking in my head that even though its low in fat at least its food. I rip the package open right there and start scarfing it down. I feel alot better.
The dream proceeds and I'm at my parents house, in the backyard. I have these books I bought for my parents, and I tell them that one of the books is about this evil green puddle.
My brother and I remember that there used to be an evil green puddle in our back yard, and if anyone ever went near it or looked in it they'd get sucked into it, and never come back. Then we also remember, that it had disappeared leaving only a hole, and that we had taken blocks of wood and filled the hole, and then covered it with a sheet of plywood and used rocks to hold it down. We had also covered it in leaves to disguise it.
I then suddenly realized, that my brother and I had stopped believing in the evil green puddle, and that's why it had dried up. I also realized that ever since we'd stopped believing in it, it never came back again.
Unfortunately; my brother's curiosity was getting the better of him; and he kept going over to the covered hole and peeking under the plywood. I kept telling him to stay away from it; that it was dangerous and it could come back again if he believed in it again.
I remember in the dream my mom and I were sitting in the backyard together(our backyard in Washington)and she was meditating. I was sitting there with a knife, and a couple other things I can't remember.
My cat; who is a main coon was playing on the patio with a bunch of other main coons the neighbor lady owned(in my dream)
My mom then got up, and handed me this strange circle mirror tray, with a metal "gate" around it. The mirror had words she had written on it, and they said something about going in to see my father, and thanking me for something.
I then proceeded to pick up my belongings, and follow her in.
Just then once again my brother peeked under the plywood, and I chided him again...

When I awoke I suddenly realized that the moral, and reason for the dream; was teach me that if I believe in a nightmare, it will come true. In my conscious I knew this, but I wasn't really feeling it lately. My sub-conscious knew I needed to see this; to stop believing in the nightmare illusions, because they would steal all my energy. To only believe in what I wanted in life, and what I wanted to see; and just like that evil green puddle all the bad illusions would disappear, and I'd forget they had even been there. I think my brother(he was much younger, around 10)represented my own curiosity; and that even though we can walk away from the illusions we don't need in our lives, some part of us will still wonder. We just can't let that part of us take over and rampage on what-ifs.

Cold hands

2008-01-29T19:25:00.000-08:00

You treat them as specimens
Labrats
Cold and calculating in your incision
In your judgment
You put up a front, a squeaky clean pearly smile, and a handshake there
A sympathetic nod, and a wipe of your brow
But inside your dead and cold
As sterile as the white walls, and irradiated metal tools
Numbed by too many bloody latex gloves
And too many deaths by your skilled hands
I'm sure lives have been saved, but can you count the lives lost?
To you; its all about the cost
The dollar
The added luxury to your life
You don't see a patient, a person, a human
You see a project, a cash refund, a number in millions
Those little colored pills, to miracle cure all ills
As side effects destroy them; turn them into societal rejects
Injects; the toxic poison in your veins
Plays with those bloody stains inside his demented mind
Butchers
They cut, and prick, inject and slice
Dice and twice over...no forever they'll steal your soul
Leaving you nothing but a black hole
Where those happy thoughts used to be, are replaced with sweet calm serenity
And boiling insanity
All for THEIR vanity, their profit margin
I see their cold, dead eyes
Hollow spaces, filled with gray
No they can't feel
They are as numb as the nectar they inject
Synthetic appeal
They'll kill you while they heal you
They can't feel your pain
The dementia clawing to escape your brain
But they can; seal you away
Turn you into something new, and improved
A good little sheep following the herd
Sleep walking; you'll never be heard
They'll even give you their shiny golden word
Their metallic calculating diagnosis
Their atrocious implants and metal contraptions to fix your imperfect limbs
They can never wash away their bloody sins
No matter how much they scrub their immaculate skins
Underneath the human shell, their monsters playing games
We're just the toys to amuse their ploys
But I haven't lost my voice, and I'll never let them touch me with their knives
Lives will be lost, but mine will not be among the numbers

Fashion Goddess

2008-01-29T00:33:00.000-08:00

Coming from a land where personalities were banned, I was forever struggling to fit in with the fads, and when it faded like blue jeans; I became an outcast in a new scene
No longer green with envy at the preppy armies, I no longer aimed to please the barbies
Ragtag fashion became my new passion; but it wasn't me
It was just a new clone army, and I was goth barbie
I blended in with the faded blacks like smudged charcoal
I followed along; dressing in chains and collars, spikes and layers of necklaces against my fishnet fetishes; but then I walked away and my fashion dwindled to cheap retail stores
I was one of the slave-labor whores

My sweet breath of fresh air was you Seattle...
I left that shuttle flown down from planet clone; and from your green palette my true colors shone through, like water glistening on a new shoe
I found my inner voice; my life was filled with color choice and even time-traveling
I was unraveling my layers, and my fashion prayers were answered; when I was surrounded by a hodge-podge of misfits and everyone was their own designer
No one questioned my 70's polyester flower power blouse, no; they looked at me with envy
I felt my fashion goddess powers for the first time, and paisley was on the menu again
Yes this delicious sin of vintage is in
This wondrous fifties dress is draping on my skin...
And I feel free, I feel like I am finally me
I found my style; and it is wild and and versatile just like the scenery; and I'm sure as hell not in any scene but my own
Own your runway, catwalk down your own path
Because rules are for clones; and last I checked I wasn't in any alien experiment, but my own clothing experience

Ugly underwear: My conspiracy theories

2008-01-16T01:32:00.000-08:00

Ever notice that the generic trademark for pajamas is bright colors, crazy patterns, and blinding designs?
Lets not forget cartoon characters, flowers, hearts, checkerboard patterns, stars, shiny blinding reds and neon greens.

Then look at boxers, superheroes, money, catchphrases about penis size, horrid colors, and metallics...Why would any man want a picture of Jim Morrison on his ass?

Women's underwear; god just go into Victoria's secrets. Who wears neon green bras with red lace and polkadots?
Or what about all the panties with "screw me" catchphrases? And the fact that all of this stuff doesn't even MATCH; like okay, pink and neon green, purple and red(ALWAYS a bad color scheme).
Panties will be themed with snowflakes during the holidays(EVEN Christmas trees!!)...what next; a Hannakuh candle stick print with a joke about being hot?

What about all the doo-dads on thongs? I once had a thong I got from Charlotte Rousse with a freakin' WHISTLE attached to a string, hanging above the nether region, as well as a thong w/ bells hanging off the hips...underwear is literally coming w/ bells and whistles!
I'm sure many women out there have experienced the dysfunctionality of rhinstones inset into pot-metal, on the hips of their panties. Dear god I can't count the ammount of times I've gotten litteral CUTS in my hips from the metal warping and cutting me.
Lace, plastic, latex, ribbons and bows, fishnet, zippers(geez if your gonna go that far just take the thing off)
I hate those G-strings w/ freakishly long pieces of lace hanging from the back, so when you pull up your pants you got a little baby blue lacy tail hanging out the back...
That reminds my of when I tucked my workshirt into my underwear, and my lowrider jeans provided my underwear to be displayed to my whole(Completely cruel and "Oblivious" ) work crew.

But onto my theories;
1. Deep inside people want to wear bells and whistles, bright fluffy lace and neon colors w/ cartoon characters proudly displayed on their buttocks in public.

2. The corporations making these atrocious creations want us to feel ugly under our clothes.

3. Some idiot designer of undergarments decided to make everything completely HIDEOUS because he was having a bad day; and ever since then everyone followed in suit.

4. All those insane patterns are hiding secret mind-controlling hypnotism messages.

Well I for one will not stand for the horrible epidemic of ugly underwear! What's a girl supposed to do???

Sky

Family & Hospitals

2008-01-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

At some points in your life, when you feel like your completely losing it, like nothing else could possibly go wrong...like life just keeps attacking you; these are the times when you realize that family can be the most important thing in your life.
These are the times, that when you think you have no one you realize you have more than you could ask for.

Last night my bestfriend in the whole world, my fiance, my soulmate, my fucking everything could have died. He had a burst appendix for 2 days and had no idea, and we just found out yesterday when he ran out of pain meds for his back, and suddenly started feeling the pain in his stomach worse than he had the whole week of stomach pain. He came into my work, doubled over in pain, bringing me my water and a Lara bar, and was going to head off to work.
He told me what he suspected was the case, and I started to cry, because he told me they were gonna cut him open. I begged him to call my mom, and head straight to the hospital.

He never called my mom, and never went to the hospital.
I called my mom, and asked her what appendicitis was, and if it was burst, what would happen? She told me to get off the phone and make him go to the hospital; that he could die. I started to cry again, I thought this isn't real, it can't be happening. I called Sam, and told him, argued, fought with him to go to the hospital. He finally conceded.

For hours after that phone call I held back tears, wondering what was happening, was he okay? Was it a burst appendix? Would they cut him open? Would he die? My work associate wouldn't let me leave with him, even though he could hardly walk, and he had to drive himself to the hospital.

When we had closed the doors of the store, I called him; and he was doped up, heading into surgery. I couldn't be there to hold his hand, to tell him it was going to be okay...
When we were done closing my work associate drove me to the hospital, and I ran in, asking where he was. I was directed to surgery waiting, which was empty. I talked to a doctor, who called another doctor, and he steered me towards another room. Another doctor stopped us and told us to follow her, that my fiance was having a break before he went back into surgery, to hurry.

I practically ran, and when I got there, we were in a lobby outside of surgery, and I don't remember anything besides seeing his face under the scrubs, and I dropped all my stuff, and ran to him. I burst into tears and laid my head on his chest. He told me it would be alright, to stop crying, but I told him I couldn't when I had to see him like this. He told me I'm his soulmate, and everything would be okay. I sobbed, and vaguely heard the doctors behind me chatting...I don't remember any of their faces, just that they were there. Then they told me my time was up, and wheeled him into surgery. I couldn't watch them take him away, I kissed him bye and turned away.

A doctor directed me to surgery waiting, and I quietly cried as we walked there. I sat in the empty waiting room, filled with ugly floral patterned chairs and nightmarish carpet..I felt like I was in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, when Johnny Dep was hallucinating the carpet was growing vines and crawling.
I cried and cried and tried to rationalize with myself, I wrote a dreadfully bad poem and read a girly magazine.

I had been so caught up I'd forgotten to get Sam's mom's phone number, and luckily one of the doctors came in and gave me her phone number.
Her and I talked for an hour or more, about Sam, and how much he's grown and changed, and how proud of him we were. It was the first time her and I really talked, and it was only awkward for a few mins, when someone you love is in peril, it really brings people together.

I waited for hours for him, I couldn't turn on the TV, I couldn't think really. I just sat there, pondering whether I should lay on the three seats next to me and try to nap. I just knew that was never gonna happen. Finally the doctors updated me, while I was talking to Theresa(Sam's mom)they told me he was done, and that they would bring him up to his room in about an hour. Then another doctor came in, and directed me to his room, so I could wait for him.

Several hours later, after they moved me from his room to the nearby waiting room, they informed me I could see him. What I was expecting was a heartfelt relief, but what I got was Sam all the way. He was yelling, crying, screaming at the nurses. Threatening to sue, to transfer hospitals, to sign himself out, begging for pain meds. Needless to say, it was quit an embarassing nightmare. No matter what I did, I couldn't calm him.
As the night continued, he calmed down, and got his pain medicine. He fell asleep, dead asleep. After around 2:30, I said my goodbyes, and headed home in a taxi.

The Taxi driver was an asshole, he was mad at me because I didn't tip him.

The next day, I received a barrage of phone calls, that didn't end, all day. My family, and friends checking up on me, giving me support.

I lost my job as well, because the next day I was scheduled to work, and never showed, although I had completely forgotten because of all the insanity. When I called them they told me I didn't call or show, and someone had to cover my shift, and so I "Quit on them". Which is bullshit. And then they asked me how my b/f was.

It was a family emergency, and they fired me. I got off the phone and cried, and cried, and called Sam, and cried more. I talked to my mom, and Tasia, and they helped to calm me a bit.

My fears; how can I pay for anything when Sam's going to be out of work for 6 weeks?

How could this happen…

Later, around 8:00 Tasia called and asked if I could house Kyle for the night, until he got to the bus stop back to Wyoming. Apparently this girl asked him to come visit her, and then her mom told her no at the last minute. He was about to transfer to the Chicago bus, but checked his phone right before, and saw her message; "Go back home."

He was stranded in Denver, in a snowstorm, so of course I said he could stay.

I was rather relieved I had someone else here, so I wouldn't wallow and focus on my problems.

Denver is so different from Seattle; as Kyle was on his way here, walking to the bus stop, a man started following him. He asked him; "Hey, how are you?" Kyle said; "I'm cold and angry."

The guy didn't get the picture, and kept following Kyle. Now just for all those who don't know, Kyle is flaming gay. So, the guy suddenly comes up next to him, and sticks his hand in Kyle's front pocket, and tries to grab his manhood! Kyle turns around, socks him in the face, and lays him flat. The guy is laying face down in the snow. Kyle said he could tell the guy was on drugs. Kyle continued walking.

This sort of thing would NEVER happen in Seattle. Some girls from work were telling me the guys at the clubs are so disrespectful they will grab girls tits, and asses w/out their consent, or knowledge. It kinda horrifies me.

Every city is different, but I have come to find that out of all the cities I've lived in, Seattle is the most polite.

Although it takes people a bit to open up, and making friends is harder than breaking into Fort Knox, when you ask someone on the street for directions; not only will they give you the history of the place, but where its at, and how the atmosphere is. In some ways I really do miss my city. I think a piece of my heart will always be saved for Seattle.

Currently Sam is going through a circus at the hospital, and his doctor has me so unbelievably pissed that I want to sue his ass. They will give him a higher pain med dose, and then suddenly take him off everything, when he begs them to put him back on, and he's crying in pain, they will finally put him back on. This has happened about 4-5 times. They won't even let him get one night's sleep, they keep waking him up every few hours.

His doctor keeps changing his mind about the prescription he's giving him to take home, and how many pills he's getting. His doctor has changed his mind NUMEROUS times about whether he gets to leave today, yesterday, tomorrow, in a week etc. Its been a roller-coaster ride. They've even changed his RECOVERY time. How can you change recovery time? Its been 2 weeks, then 4, then six. And six weeks is what they told me right after he got out of surgery. These people are sick. I've gotten plenty of stories from my cousin Tasia as well, that Swedish medical hospital is evil.

Our van broke down, several days ago, so we've been using my aunts truck. Taz gets back from Canada today, and my parents are picking her up. They will be coming down to visit us, and work on the van since Sam is incapacitated.

We were really hoping that we'd be able to move out, in a month. But it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.

I was on my cell-phone so much yesterday that I got a terrible headache, and I was very sick by the time I made it to bed. All I know is that I don't know what I would do w/out my family and friends. They mean the world to me, and w/out their support I think I would have been crying through this whole ordeal.

Tasia, Mimi, and even Kyle, I just want to thank you guys, because w/out the people in my life I don't how I would have made it through everything.

Kyle cheered me up, and Tasia and Mimi you two are just really amazing, thanks for all your support.

I know none of my family besides my mom reads my blog; but I'd also like to thank my dad, my mom, Sam's mom, my Grandma Charlotte, my Grandma Schilling, and Taz; for being there for me and Sam, and for holding Sam in your Prayers, thoughts, and hearts. And mom, you were there for me every step of the way.

Well; this concludes that part of my story, I'll be busy all day today taking care of Sam when they release him, and visiting w/ my parents, Nikki, and Taz.

Peace,
Sky

Returning to Denver: Part II

2008-01-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

On new years, the night of the end of the first day, of the new year...memories flooded my brains receptors...
I was suddenly aware that for months I have been in a state of shock. I have not been able to fully process or comprehend the events that my life had experienced. I went through more let downs and beat-downs than I had ever been through, in my whole life. Signs would line up, beautifully, fluidly, and then the illusion would come crashing down at the last minute, leaving me weary, tired, bedraggled, and at a loss for words. There is no way to explain in words, what my family and I went through. Life, or death, was throwing us around like a ping pong ball in the universe.
I felt cursed, I thought it would never end, when my spirit was thoroughly broken, I withdrew. I stopped trying. The little warrior girl inside me had been sleeping so long, that her strength had died away, with the fading of her callouses, and her scars. I knew this was a test, and that it had only begun. I knew that the deterioration of the system was falling apart rapidly, and that I had to grow a backbone soon. But I did nothing, and Kali the goddess of death and decay, laughed at me. She laughed at us all. She tried to dance with me but I ran, she tried to kill me but I ran. She tried to show me her face, but I screamed. And now, I wish I had just danced with her.
Now here I sit, knowingly understanding that it has just begun...that this is only a pause in the greater struggle. That I must be strong, I must not fall, or brood. I can't let anything get the best of me. That little warrior girl inside, needs to grow up.

Sky

Returning to Denver: My childhood hometown

2008-01-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

November 21, 2007 - Wednesday

Many events have torn through my life like a harsh wind on a winters day...
I have been homeless, on the road, jobless, and full of dreams. I have seen many of my old homes, places I used to call my backyard, my home, my heartland. I have slipped back into time, for a fraction of my life's rhyme, and I have wonderered many a time, where am I going? I have seen old friends, who haven't changed a bit, and family I was too young to remember. I have been scared, and worn, tired and weary, and at times, utterly hopeless. I have cried, I have laughed, I've vegged in front of a motel TV watching CSI. I've grown, and yet somehow I'm younger. More innocent in realizing that I will always be ignorant, no matter how grand my knowledge. I have seen my family a victim of carthieves, and tool thieves, and wished I could have done somthing. I have gained family, and camped in the rain. I have been selfish, and rude, and careless...and humbled in my own right.
I have travelled through many lands, and stayed in a motel from the 1900's...unable to sleep and feeling the carpet stick to my feet. I have smiled at strangers, and came upon a pack of doe in a rest stop...locking eyes with the buck, I watched his glowing eyes as he paused, and then moved on.
I have seen endless miles of yellow flatlands, and rolling foothills, imagining they were a giants feet. I have seen the Joshua trees, and marvelled at their resemblence to brocolli...
I've climbed mountains, and passed through tunnels, but of course I wasn't the driver.
And in the end, I was able to pause, before I continued on my journey, to rest in the comfort of family, and take stock of my resources. As I now sit here, the colorado snow stops falling, it blankets the city in white, and the sky clears of gray clouds.

My currents: Life

2008-01-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

Current Mood:
Dreamy, melancholy, full, cold, determined.

Current Attire:
Sweatshirt, black skinny jeans, and ankle socks.

Current Hair:
Bangs, red and black shag cut, long.

Recent movies/shows watched:
Witchblade the anime series: Amazing show
Brotherhood of the wolf: Favorite movie
Serendipity: Classic
Stardust: Really cute!
I now pronounce you chuck & Larry: Loved it.

Current music taste:
Gothic, ethereal, orchestra, symphony, industrial, middle eastern, and deathmetal/hard rock.

Current goals:
Daily yoga
Drink more water
Get another part time job
Get into apartment with my fiance

Current room:
My aunts apartment, in her spare bedroom.

Current occupation:
Florist
Artist
Sewing new clothes from my old ones

Recent finds:
A kick-ass mirror in the apartment trash, while dumping the catlitter box:

Current favorite place to shop:
Whole foods
Vitamin cottage

Current fears:
Being locked inside this apartment for too long.

Current creations:

Last but not least....
Happy fucking new years!!!!

Wake up: Steps toward consciousness

2007-12-27T16:14:00.000-08:00

How do you become conscious?
You may think that you are currently aware of your surroundings, what's going on in your life, and that you have full control of your current situation...
I could be wrong though, you may have absolutely no idea what's going on, and your crying out for help, wondering what life is all about? Maybe your a complete mess!
Whatever your situation; these simple things will help crank up your consciousness levels.

Here you are, sitting at your computer, in your room, maybe your living room or kitchen, reading this blog. Look around you, what kind of drink are you drinking? Are you even drinking anything, does your body need water? What's sitting on your desk?
What does your desk look like?
What is hanging on your walls?
What is the texture of your carpet?
Is everything neat and organized, or a catastrophe?

No...really LOOK at things. Just because you KNOW what's sitting on your desk, or in your closet, or pantry, doesn't mean you really acknowledge its existence.
Seriously pay attention, look past that slight blur of disinterest hazing your vision.
Sharpen those pupils, put on your glasses, check out that cup your drinking out of.

When you leave your house to run errands, pay attention to your steps, to the things around you. Make sure your really breathing.

A good test, go to the grocery store, and go to the produce section. Whenever you see something you've never tasted or smelled, pick it up, analyze it, smell it, feel the texture, the weight, the color. Look at everything around you, really focus on things.

To break out of that routine unconscious haze requires doing things you've never tried before.
I'm not talking about skydiving; it always blows my mind how people think that's breaking out of a box. I'm also not talking about going to a new restaurant for lunch, although that helps.
Maybe there's a little antique or thrift shop you've always wanted to go into, and maybe you finally go in. Try on one of those vintage outfits, or really pay attention to how cool all the old magazines and signs are. Imagine yourself in another time period, and imagine what it would be like.
Maybe go up to the mountains or your local park, get a local plant guide for your area, and learn your surroundings. Actually learn the qualities and names of your local flowers and weeds.

Now this is only a few ideas on how to break out of your boxes, but another very important factor in consciousness, is your inner life.
How often do you pay attention to your pets?
When was the last time you took your kid to the park, or went on a date with your other half?
How clean is your house?
Maybe instead of going to jack-in-the-box for lunch, learn how to make a new dish and cook it the night before work.
How healthy do you think your eating?

These are just a few simple things on how to stay conscious, as you move forward, and become more aware, you will start to interact with your own life more, instead of being a bystander.
What are your ideas about being conscious?

Animal

2007-12-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

Let them
Give me dirty looks
Recite to me what they've read in books
Tell me propaganda
I know they can't stand the...
Lack of disease, lack of excuses
Get on your knees
Prey to your god to cure you of your unease
I will do what I please
Let them
Give me dirty looks
Tell me it has to be cooked
And repeat their programming at me
They spat at me their beliefs as though it was the only truth
But the lie is written on their skin
Like the bible they hold so preciously to their chests
They invest so much money
So much time
On their disease sugarcoating it with honey
And little blue pills to cure all of their ills
But caught in stills, photographs and videos
Their plague is that of sickness
And the thickness of their skulls
Does nothing to null their pains
Only damage their brains and smile innocently they laugh at me
Like I'm crazy, the clown that's always been around
For them to point at, and yet there's no problems to point out
Because I am an animal
I paint my skin in animal fat
And dye my hair in our mothers plants
I am an animal
I fuck like an animal and scream like one too
I will howl at the moon and paint myself in mud
Because she who bore me, my fears are only of those who are walking dead
Zombies in the flesh
They are not animals, but humans
They are what they claim to be, separate from me
And separate from mother
They are like no other
Destruction is their only will and all they can do is kill
I've had my fill but their flesh I will not ingest
That virus must be like their fabrication of the words on their papyrus
They are empty and I am full off my kill
I will slowly suck their will
Until their will to breed has left them without seed
And this I need...this sustenance and bloody meat
I will eat with relish
While they cook and burn and char and scorch their processed portion
I eat it raw, with my paws
My cause is happiness
They tell me that bliss is irresponsible, that living in the moment is foolish
Well at least that goulish face reciting their lack of taste in living isn't my friend
I will bend like a tree
And dance like the wind
Careless I will spend my endless time living out my life's rhyme
Shameless I will tear at my food with my hands and teeth and breathe in the smell of a bloody fresh kill
That's my only pill

I miss my city: Seattle poetry on the bus

2007-12-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

This is an old poem I wrote, last summer, while riding the bus through my neighborhood.

The city has eyes
It watches our tries, our failures
It commends our success
The moss and vines crawl up to the skies;
Hanging onto freeway walls
And buildings reaching for the hazy sky
Leaves fall from autumn trees
Litter the sidewalks and streets;
With a crunching cacaphony of crackles
Weeds rise up from mowed grass
And sway their yellow dandelion dance
Chipped cement clutters a street
The roads are lined with cracks telling a story like wrinkles on a face
Navy blue, buttermilk yellow, teal and jet black houses line the neighborhood streets
An old VW Van stands like the bones of an animal, as moss and mildew tint the windows green; and rust decays its decrepit scene
Blackberry brambles conquer yards and hide shards of of broken bottles and decaying trash
Pinecones dot a drivway; overhanging with wild branches of evergreens
Paint chips fleck from a picket fence
A lake overgrown with trees and plants; ducks sway in the murkey waters they lay
A man pulls shingles from a church roof
And I sigh at all the beauty, as my bus pulls to a stop

Starphyre's Poetry: Family

2007-10-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

What is a city, but a distraction? A quick interaction between millions of faces, but a only a fraction will be the friends we have attraction, like magnets among tin, the connection is slim; the odds are grim, we touch bases not as a friend; but a number in a grid...
I rid myself of numbers, and now I am left with only family, and nothing is as we planned it to be.
We soon see, that even a few of you and me; is friction and discord, but without each other disconnection is our only story, and how many stories can one man tell of hermatage in a cell; and to who will he recite his deeds but to a wall, and his reflection in a well.

The magic bear: Starphyre's adventures

2007-08-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

I awaken to sunlight pouring through the thin veil of cloth shielding me from exposure, my soulmate sleeping soundlessly beside me, his eyes peaceful, his body contorted into a strange position.

I think of getting up, going inside the wooden structure that is my house. I peer out, I feel something watching me.
And from above the tent flap, through the gossamer netting I see the source of my instinct, a towering chocolate brown beast with a yellow mask, (or is it his face) is peering down at me, he is paused. My heart races as realization dawns, and then he fades from my vision, leaving nothing but a gray tree, a dangling bunch of maple helicopters, and empty air. As my pulse winds down, excitement bursts into my heart.

I think of a bear! A magic one, with a yellow mask growing from his face, was he just passing by, and happened to see me? Who was this strange beast, watching me from above?

She is me: From StarPhyre's Poetry

2007-08-21T01:52:00.001-07:00

I awaken to loneliness. First fear; fear of separation, and of closeness. Fear of the world around me, of the implications of my new eyes. I awaken to paranoia, their watching. Is it their world, is it mine? Is it time, has it come so soon? Have I run out of this precious illusion of a clock of delusion? But I know inside fear solves nothing, it is only the demon bred out of my sleep. I am battling with her, an inner battle. She wants normalcy, systems and games that twirl around in circles like a ferris wheel. I want freedom and fantasy, I want magic and dreams. She’s scared as she hides in her dark corner, wanting nothing more than to forget. To fall back into her deep dreamless sleep, where she is none to blame, none to take action. But as I move on, she fades as a distant horizon, as a shooting star, as a fading cloud the sky is clear, and she is me. She remembers the scent of wet moss and rainfall, and the crisp chilly air of the forest. She remembers the names of the land, of the fruits that bear witness to sunlight in springtime, of the leaves that unfurl towards the sky, of their poisons and their friends. She remembers the smell of hotel bathrooms and cheap laundry detergent from traveling in her childhood. She remembers the simple things are all that count. She is I, and I remember my dreams. The veil is lifted and my memories return, as scents as fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday, of images as close to my heart as if they were waiting for me tomorrow. Of joy so clear and pure and unquestioned, unhindered. Its so close I can touch it, hold her, that me that was and will be again.

Homemade Teas: Blackberry Ginger Tea

2007-08-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

Blackberry ginger tea recipe:

What you will need:
Tea Ball

Fine Mesh tea strainer

Zest Grater

A bowl
A qaurter of a piece of ginger

About 5-6 blackberries

Honey

Grate the ginger until there is enough to fill the teaball. Drain the juice from the ginger into your cup, and put the tea ball in your cup.
Take the blackberries and press them into the fine mesh tea strainer, above the bowl. Continue to press until all that is left is pulp and seeds. Pour the blackberry juice into your cup. Pour hot water over it, and add honey to taste!

My sequined 80's value village find: The largest clothing recall

2007-08-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

I just found the most incredible sequined 80's butterfly shirt at
Value Village, for only $14.99
Scroll to the bottom of this article, to read an amusing piece of news,
regarding imports from India, and this clothing label.

Yes, I'm in my socks!!

On the label:
Papillon
Vancouver Los Angeles
Made in India
RN No. 57716
C.A. 02784 100% Pure silk
Lining of 100% Rayon
Dry clean only(DUH!)

I looked up the brand of this shirt; Papillon, and found the following article, I thought it was quite amusing!

                             THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
           Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Saturday, August 13, 1994              TAG: 9408130291
SECTION: FRONT                    PAGE: A5   EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: ASSOCIATED PRESS
DATELINE: WASHINGTON                         LENGTH: Short :   45 lines

LARGEST CLOTHING RECALL ORDERED THE GAUZY SKIRTS MADE IN INDIA EASILY CATCH FIRE. THEY HAVE BEEN SOLD FOR YEARS.

The government announced the largest clothing recall ever Friday, a quarter-million rayon skirts made in India that can be set on fire with a cigarette and burn faster than a newspaper.

``Consumers must stop wearing these skirts,'' said Ann Brown, chairman of the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which ordered a stop to all sales and a recall.

So far, she said, there have been no deaths or injuries, even though the skirts have been imported for two to three years.

CPSC said it has contacted stores to take the skirts off the shelves.

The commission named 18 major retailers cooperating in the recall but said many other stores had carried the skirts:

Abraham & Strauss Basement; Ames Ladies Wear; Annie Sez; Bealls Outlet Stores; Burlington Coat Factory; Cost Plus; Dayton's; Filene's Basement; Gantos; Hudson's; Jean Nicole; Loehmann's; Marianne; Marshalls; Marshall Field's; One Price; Ross and T.J. Maxx.

Some, but not all, of the garments have these brand labels:

2 Kool Look; Ann Simone; Carla Freeman; Casual Designs by RAVIA; Exclusif; Fbi; Founded 1976 D II K by K.V.M.; Giallo Napoli; Gold Star; LaGebi; Masone II; Minti Mode; Papillon; Phool; Renuka; Short Circuit; Steed Import Inc.; Vile Parle; Xessorium; Zero Zero.

Some labels with no other brand information had these numbers: RN 81177; RN 74867; RN 50971; RN 57716. ILLUSTRATION: FREE HOT LINE

The Consumer Product Safety Commission will answer questions

about the recall on its toll-free hot line:

(800) 638-2772.

KEYWORDS: RECALL SKIRTS INDIA FIRE HAZARD

Starphyre's Fabric Notes: How to identify fabric; N-W

2007-08-16T21:05:00.002-07:00

This list is a continuation of my list of fabric identification! The following is excerpted from this book: Secondhand Chic: Find fabulous fashion at Consignment, Vintage, and Thrift stores: By Christa Weil.

Net:
An open fabric, which is created by connecting the intersections in a woven knitted or crocheted construction to form a mesh-like appearance that won't ravel.

Nylon:
The first completely synthetic fiber developed. Known for its strength and excellent resilience, nylon has superior abrasion resistance and high flexibility.

Organza:
A crisp sheer, light-weight plain weave fabric with a medium to high yarn count. Made of silk, rayon, nylon, or polyester. The fabric is used primarily in evening and wedding dresses, and apparel for women.

Ottoman:
A tightly woven, plain-weave, ribbed fabric with a hard slightly lustered surface. The ribbed fabric with a hard slightly lustered surface. The ribbed effect is created by weaving finer silk or manufactured warp yarn with a heavier filler yard, usually made of cotton, wool, or waste yarn. In the construction of the heavier filler yarn is completely covered by the warp yarn. Thus creating the ribbed effect.

Pearlized:
Given a pearlescent surface, or finish.

Peau Satin:
A heavy twill weave drapeable satin fabric, made of silk or manufactured fiber, and used for bridal gowns and evening wear.

Picot:
A row of woven loops along the selvage of fabric or lace.

Pointelle:
Very feminine, delicate looking, rib knit fabric made w/ a pattern of openings.

Polyester:
A manufactured fiber which has high strength, excellent resiliency, and high abrasion resistance. Low absorbency allows the fiber to dry quickly.

Poplin:
A fabric made using a rib variation of the plain weave. The construction is characterized by having a slight ridge effect in one direction, usually the filling.

Ramie:
A bast fiber, similar to flax, taken from the stalk of a plant grown in china.

Rayon:
A manufactured fiber composed of regenerated cellulose, derived from wood pulp, cotton linters, or other vegetable matter.

Re-embroidered:
To outline a design(as on lace) with embroidery stitching.

Rhinestoned:
To attach a colorless imitation stone of high luster made of glass, paste, or gem quartz.(Is also sometimes plastic and can be colored)

Ribbed:
To form vertical ridges in knitting.

Ribboned:
Ribbon lace is made by stitching ribbon onto mesh or net fabrics. The design is usually a random pattern rather than floral.

Rib knit:
A basic stitch used in weft knitting in which the knitting machines require two sets of needles operating at right angles to each other. Rib knits have a very high degree of elasticity in the crosswire direction. This knitted fabric is used for complete garments, and for such specialized uses as sleeve bands, neck bands, sweater waistbands, and special types of trims for use with other knit or woven fabrics. Lightweight sweaters in rib knits provide a close, body-hugging fit.

Satin:
A traditional fabric utilizing a satin weave construction to achieve a lustrous fabric surface. Satin is a traditional fabric surface. Satin is a traditional fabric for evening and wedding garments. Fabrics include: Slipper satin, crepe-back satin, faille satin, bridal satin, moleskin, and royal satin.

Seersucker:
A woven fabric which incorporates modification of tension control. In the production of seersucker, some of the warp yarns are held under controlled tensions at all times during the weaving, while other warp yarns are in a relaxed state and tend to pucker when the filling yarns are placed. The result produces a puckered strip effect in the fabric.

Sequined:
Ornamental with a small plate of shining metal or plastic.

Shantung:
A medium-weight plain-weave fabric, characterized by a ribbed effect, resulting from slubbed yarns used in the warp of filling direction. End uses include dresses and suits.

Sheer:
Any very light-weight fabric(e.g. chiffon, georgette, voile, sheer crepe)usually and open weave. Sheers mostly feel cool.

Silk:
It is obtained from cocoons of a certain species of caterpillars. It is soft and has a brilliant sheen. It is one of the finest textiles, and it is also very strong and absorbent.

Spandex:
A manufactured elostomeric fiber that can be repeatedly stretched over 500% without breaking, and will still recover to its original length.

Suede: Leather with a napped surface.

Taffeta:
A lustrous, medium weight, plain weave fabric with a slight ribbed appearance in the filing(crosswise)direction for formal wear, taffeta is a favorite choice. It provides a crisp hand, with lots of body. Silk taffeta gives the ultimate rustle, but other fibers are also good choices.

Tencel:
A trademark of courtauds for a high performance fiber used to make soft, beautifully draping rayon fabrics. Tencel is made from wood pulp that is harvested from replenished tree farms. Washable.

Terry:
A woven fabric usually cotton, with a loop pile on one or both sides.

Tri-acetate:
A manufactured fiber, which, like acetate, is made by modifying cellulose. Tri-acetate is less absorbent and less sensitive to high temperatures than acetate. It can be hand or machine washed and tumble dried, w/ relatively good wrinkle recovery.

Twill:
A fabric that shows a distinct diagonal wale on the face(e.g. denim, gabardine, tricotine)

Velair:
A medium weight closely-woven fabric with a thick pile. It can be made using either plain weave or a sating weave construction. It resembles velvet, but has a lower cut pile.

Velvet:
A medium-weight cut pile constructed fabric in which the cut pile stands up very straight. It is woven using two sets pf warp yarns; the extra set creates the pile. Velvet, a luxurious fabric; is commonly made with a filament fiber for high luster and smooth hand.

Venice lace:
This lace often has a high profile, and is made using needle point technique rather than embroidery. A heavier weight lace, the patterns vary from geometric to floral. Each pattern is attached to the others by bars made of thread.

Viscose:
The most common type of rayon. It is produced in much greater quantity than cuprammonium rayon, the other commercial type.

Voile:
A crisp, lightweight fabric, plain weave cotton-like fabric, made with high twist yarns in a high yarn count construction. Similar in appearance to organdy and organza.

Wool:
Usually associated with fiber of fabric made from the fleece of sheep or lambs. However; the term "wool" can also apply to all animal fibers, including the hair of the cashmere or angora goat, or the specialty hair fibers of the camel, alpaca, llama or vicuna.

Starphyre's Fabric Notes: How to identify fabric; A-M

2007-08-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

These are my notes from my fashion archives; The following is excerpted from this book: Secondhand Chic: Find fabulous fashion at Consignment, Vintage, and Thrift stores: By Christa Weil.
Hope these help in identifying the fabric you have found!

Acetate:
A manufactured fiber formed by a compound of cellulose, refined from cotton linter, and or wood pulp. An acetic acid that has been extruded through a spinnernet and then hardened.

Angora:
The hair of the Angora goat. Also known as Angora Mohair. Angora also may apply to the fur the angora rabbit. This fabric is often made in sweaters, and is extremely soft to the touch.

Beaded:
This refers to any style of fabric. Beading can be done at the time the the lace is made, or re-embroidered after the lace is made.

Bengaline:
A fabric with a cross-wire rib made from textile fibers(such as rayon, nylon, cotton, or wool)often in combination.

Boucle:
A knit of woven fabric made from a rough, curly knotten boucle yarn. The fabric has a looped knotted surface and is often used in sportswear and coats.

Brocade:
A heavy exquisite jacquard type fabric, with an all over raised pattern, or floral design.

Cambric:
A fine thin white linen fabric.

Canvas:
A strong, durable closely woven cotton fabric.

Cashmere:
A luxury fiber obtained from the soft fleecy undergrowth of the Kashmir Goat of Tibet, Mongolia, China, Iran, Iraq, and India. Most commonly used in sweaters, shawls, coats and dresses.

Crushed Velvet:
Velvet is a form of textile that is woven on a special loom. It is a tufted fabric in which the cut threads are very evenly distributed, giving it its distinct feel. Velvet can be made from any fiber.

Chambray:
A plain woven fabric that can be made from cotton, silk, or manufactured fibers; but it is most commonly cotton. It incorporates a colored warp(often blue)and white filling yarns.

Chantilly lace:
This lace has a net background, and the pattern is created by embroidering with thread and ribbon to create floral designs. The pattern has areas of design that are very dense, and the pattern is often outlined with heavier cords or threads.

Charmeuse:
Trade name of silk and silk-like fabrics that characterized by a shiny soft satin like appearance.

Chenille:
Soft fuzzy yarns stand out around a velvety cord on this fabric, whose name comes from the french word from "Caterpillar"

Chiffon:
A plain, woven, light-weight, extremely sheer, airy and soft silk fabric, contained highly twisted filament yarns. Used mainly in evening dresses and scarves. Can also be made from rayon, and other manufactured fibers.

Chintz:
A usually glazed cotton fabric.

Cotton:
A unicellular natural fiber that grows in the seed pod of the cotton plant. Fibers are typically 1/2 inch to 2 inches long. The longest staple fibers, longer than 1-1 1/2 inch, including the Pima and Egyptian varieties; produce the highest quality cotton fabrics.

Crepe:
Used to describe all kinds of fabrics--Wool, cotton, silk, rayon, synthetics and blends, that have a crinkle, crimped, or grained surface.

Crepe back satin:
A satin fabric in which highly twisted yarns are used in the filling direction. The floaty yarns are made with low twist and may be either high or low luster. If the crepe effect is the right side of the fabric, the fabric is called satin-back crepe.

Crinkled:
Forming many short bends or wrinkles

Crocheted:
Loose, open knit made buy looping thread with a hooked needle. Used for light, summer sweaters.

Denim:
True denim is a twill weave cotton-like fabric, made with different colored yarns in the warp and the weft. Due to the twill construction, one color predominates on the fabric surface.

Dupioni:
Similar to Shantung, this textured fabric is recognized by irregular-sized thick fibers woven into the base fabric. Fibers that create the texture are thicker than those used in Shantung.

Elastin:
A protein, that to collagen and is the chief constituent of plastic fibers.

Embroidered:
An embellishment of a fabric or garmet in which colored threads are sewn into the fabric to create a design. Embroidery may be done either by hand, or by machine.

Fagoting:
An embroidery produced by pulling out horizontal threads from a fabric, and tying the remaining cross threads into groups of an hour glass shape.

Faille:
A glossy, soft, finally-ribbed silk-like woven fabric made from cotton, silk, or manufactured fibers.

Georgette:
A sheer lightweight fabric, often made of silk, or from such manufactured fibers as polyester, with a crepe surface. End uses include dresses and blouses.

Gingham:
A medium-weight, plain-weave fabric, with a plaid or checker pattern.

Heather:
A yarn that is spun using pre-dyed fibers. These fibers are blended together to give a particular look(For example: black & white may be blended together to create gray heathered yarn.)
The term "Heather" may also be used to describe the fabric made from heathered yarns.

Hemp fiber:
Hemp is a common name for Cannabis and the name is most used when this annual plant is grown for non-drug purposes. When grown for industrial purposes hemp is called, often, industrial hemp, and a common product is fiber for use in a variety of different ways. Hemp use dates back to the Stone Age, with hemp fibre imprints found in pottery shards in China over 10,000 years old. It is used in bags, clothing, and jewelery, and tends to be rough and itchy, depending on how fine the weave is.

Intarsia:
A colored design kitten on both sides of a fabric.

Jacquard:
Woven fabrics manufactured by using the jacquard attachment on the loom. This attachment provides versatility in designs and permits individual control of each of the warp yarns. Thus fabric of almost any type of complexity can be made. Brocade and damask are types of jacquard woven fabrics.

Jersey:
The consistent inter looping of yarns in the jersey stitch to a fabric with a smooth, flat face, and a more textured but uniform back. Jersey fabrics may be produced on either circular or flat weft knitting machines.

Knit-Fabrics:
Made from only one set of yarns, all running in the same direction. Some knits have their yarns running along the length of the fabric, while other have their yarns running across the width of the fabric knit. Fabrics are held together by looping the yarns around each other. Knitting creates ridges in the resulting fabric. Waves are the ridges that run lengthwise in the fabric, courses run crisscross.

Knitted:
Formed by interlacing yarn or thread in a series of connected loops with needles.

Lace:
An ornamental braid for trimming.

Lame like glotique:
A woven fabric using flat silver or gold metal threads to create either the design of background in the fabric.

Lawn:
A light, fine, cloth made of using carded or combed linen or cotton yarns. The fabric has a crease-resistant, crisp finish.

Leather:
Animal skin dress for use in clothing.

Leatherette:
Simulated leather.

Linen:
A fabric made from linen fibers obtained from inside the woody stem of the flax plant. Linen fibers are much stronger and more lustrous than cotton. Linen fabrics are very cool, and absorbent, but wrinkle very easily unless blended with manufactured fibers.

Lycra:
A DuPont trade mark trademark for its spandex fiber. Anytime you see this fiber listed on a label, expect comfort, movement, and shape retention that won't wash away.

Marabou:
A throw silk usually dyed in the gum or fabric made of this silk.

Matte:
Lacks luster or gloss, and has a usually smooth even surface, free from shine or high-lights.

Mesh:
A type of fabric characterized by its net-like appearance, and the spaces between yarns. Mesh is available in a variety of constructions including wovens, knits, laces, or crocheted fabric.

Micro-fiber:
Generic term for any synthetic fiber finer than silk. Fabrics made with micro-fibers are soft lightweight breathable, and durable.

If you would like a more in-depth list on textiles and cloth types, visit the website:
http://phrontistery.info/fabric.html

Thrift shopping 101: Part 2

2007-08-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

In my previous blog I gave some tips on finding high quality costume jewelery; to start your collection of jewelery for your new wardrobe!

Tip:
You always want to be an early bird shopper! Find out when they open, and be there when the doors are opened. You will get the best stuff first!

Browsing and inspecting:
The difference between these two? When you browse; you fluff some clothes around, peek at a few pretty colors, and generally, find nothing and decide to give up. When inspecting; you painstakingly flip through every piece of clothing, whether it may suit you or not. You will end up finding the treasure buried beneath Grandma's Christmas tree sweater, and the orange furry thinga-ma-bob that LOOKS like your cat Fluffy.

An open mind:
Bring one of these w/ you, even if you have to borrow it from your weird hippie co-worker! You may come out a whole new person, w/ your own unique and classy(Or not)sense of style. Thrift shopping invites all kinds, whether you want to dress like a punk, a hippie, an evening dress for a night out on the town, or you work for a business where you have to wear a suit. You can dress up in any genre, or find your own quirky fashion sense EVERY day! Thrift shopping is like when you were a kid playing dress-up. Be experimental, try things you've never tried before, colors you've never worn, don't stick w/ earthy tones and bland avocados, spice things up. Remember, you are leaving the cheap retail scene to escape the boring fashions that come and go.

How frustrating is it that every year the retail stores tell you what's "In", what colors are "Fall colors", and what cuts you should be wearing? We shouldn't let corporations dictate what we wear. We are all individuals with personalities, not cardboard cut-out of what's in or out!

The great thing is, you don't have have to find one specific style that is "you" you can have MANY looks and styles, for all occasions, and your g/f's will wonder WHERE you got all your great outfits!

What to do when you find something cool:
First, check the fabric! Read what kind of fabric it is, if it still has a tag. Check if has to be hand-washed, or dry-cleaned, etc. If hand-washing suits your lifestyle, and time schedule, its a good idea; otherwise, be wary of avoiding the clothing item until you finally get around to having it dry cleaned. The next thing you want to do check is the seams, and the fabric quality. Do the tug-o-war test on the seams, lightly pull the fabric taut and check if the seams are loose, or you can visibly see light through them. Check all aspects of the seams to make sure there are no loose seams, loose thread, or torn corners. Also; look for double-stitching, this is a good sign, noting that the shirt is durable. Look for small stains, tears, or rips, these can be easily patched and repaired it your item is a true find.

Sequins, beading, rhinestones and embroidery:
Make sure to check if the designs on the item your checking out, are strong, and well-done. Make sure the thread is thick, and if possible not visible. Check for missing beads, or sequins, or weak thread sagging under the weight of beads. You want the sequins to be tight knit, and well overlapped and layered. If the piece is particularly heavy in your hand, and the cloth appears strong, and the beading has no missing patches, then it is usually a good piece.
What about those rhinestones? Make sure your rhinestones are encased in a metal piece, that is firmly attached to your shirt. If they are just "floating" and glued on, they will fall off even with light movement and daily activity.
Embroidery; make sure that the thread is thick, and there are no stray threads sticking up. Make sure the design is strong, and not done quickly and factory style.

What I'm NOT going to teach you:
This guide is for Thrift-shopping functionality, not for brand-whores! I'm not going to tell you how to decipher between real vintage Louis Vuitton, and fakes, or any of that stuff. You have to decide that for yourself!

What I will teach you about brands:
I will tell you what brands to avoid, if you want your piece to last longer than its third wash!
Cheap mall brands, are to be avoided at all costs!
Brands like Charlotte Russe, Wet Seal, Forever 21, are big no-no's! If its cute and you don't mind it lasting only a few washes, by all means buy it! But be warned, mall brands have a higher chance of breaking, snapping, and unraveling, as well as tears, runs, and all around disarray.
Mall brands will fade quicker, lose their luster and appeal much quicker than quality boutique brands.
A lot of thrift stores will carry retail brand clothing; Fang, Southpole, Self Esteem; etc. These brands are a little bit better than mall brands, and their cotton tees and jackets usually last a good amount of time. However; the spaghetti straps, and lacy pieces have a tendency of falling apart quickly.
If you want to know what high-quality brands and labels to look for, I suggest getting some Harper's Bazaar magazines from your local library, and browsing through the clothing ads. You will find that some of these brands are at your thrift store. These brands tend to be higher-grade cloth, last longer, and are usually more fitted and contoured to your form than retail and mall clothing.

The Secret:
The secret to creating a wardrobe for ALL occasions? Check ALL the areas of your thrift store. Don't go in solely looking for tank-tops and blouses, check the skirt section even if you don't normally wear skirts. Check the formal evening dress section, even if you don't have a reason. Items tend to get misplaced, and stuck in odd areas as well. You can find cute tank-tops in the Pajama's section sometimes. Looking through the dresses, and blazers you can find high grade vintage pieces, because most people don't check the formal wear. Don't leave any area unchecked, because you might just be leaving a treasure behind.

After reading this blog, you will be equipped with a basic knowledge of how to find good quality items, and how to avoid being scammed into a shiny shirt, that will quickly fall apart.
With these skills you will soon be on your way to building your new wardrobe, with long-lasting timeless favorites, instead of cheap throw-aways!
In my next blog I will cover some notes of mine, on how to identify types of fabric!

Fair Trade, and recycled clothing/accessories

2007-08-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

I went online, to search for fair trade clothing companies and distributors, and found tons of links!!! A lot of people have the impression that Fair Trade items are more expensive, when in truth buying Fair Trade costs just about the same as a retail store! The retail store hikes up the prices, to benefit the big company. These places get their stuff directly from the craftspeople source, and pay them fair wages. I have also included links to individuals who are designers, making items from recycled materials. Enjoy!

People Tree
http://www.peopletree.co.uk/

Fair Indigo
http://www.fairindigo.com/

Mercado Global
https://iwojima.globat.com/~mercadoglobal.org/shop/index.php

Fair Trade Clothing, in Canada!
http://fairtradeclothing.ca/

Global Mamas
This stuff is really cute, its got a boho chic about it :)
http://www.globalmamas.org/

Union made apparel
http://nosweatapparel.com/

Equa-Fair Trade and Organic Boutique
http://www.equaclothing.com/

Indigenous Designs
http://www.indigenousdesigns.com/

American Apparel(Yes they are fair trade!!!)
www.americanapparel.net

Anatomy
www.anatomyfashion.co.uk

Bishopston Trading Company
www.bishopstontrading.co.uk

Chandni Chowk
www.chandnichowk.co.uk

Clothworks
www.clothworks.co.uk

Epona
www.eponasport.com

Equop
www.eponasport.com

Ethical Threads
www.ethicalthreads.co.uk

Fairganic Ltd
www.fairganic.co.uk

Funky Ghandi(This stuff is really trendy, Tees, and punkish styles w/ cool graphics)
http://www.funkygandhi.com/

Gossypium
http://www.gossypium.co.uk/

Greenfibres
www.greenfibres.com

Hemp Union
www.hemp-union.karoo.net

Howies
www.howies.co.uk

Hug
www.hug.co.uk

Jo Pott Mercer
www.jopott.com

Manumit Fair Trade Accessories
www.manumituk.com

Marlo Clothing
www.marlo.co.uk

Mini-Organic(Fairtrade organic cotton baby clothes)
www.mini-organic.co.uk

Natural Collection
www.naturalcollection.com

Nomads
www.nomadsclothing.com

One World is Enough
www.one-world-is-enough.net

Pachacuti
www.panamas.co.uk

Remould Clothing-A Derbyshire based business offering a range of Fair Trade clothing and accessories at competitive prices from beautiful fashion items to hand crafted accessories.
www.remouldclothing.co.uk

Schmidt Natural Clothing
www.naturalclothing.co.uk

Sea Salt Organic
www.seasaltorganic.co.uk

Spirit of Nature
www.spiritofnature.co.uk/

Think Clothing
www.thinkfairtrade.com

THTC
www.thtc.co.uk

Tonic T-shirts
www.tonictshirts.com

Traidcraft plc
www.traidcraft.co.uk

Wildlife Works UK-Organic clothing produced by locals on their 80,000 acre eco-sanctuary in Kenya where they also educate the locals on the importance of conserving their wildlife and provide jobs for the locals and schools for their children.
www.wildlifeworks.co.uk

A lot of shopping, fair trade and organics!
http://www.alotofshopping.co.uk/

So Organic
http://www.soorganic.com/home.php

Natural Collection-Fair Trade, handcrafted, natural stuff!!!
http://www.naturalcollection.com/

Adili-Fair trade Fashion
http://www.adili.com/

The UK Organic, and fair trade search engine
http://www.alotoforganics.co.uk

Turns recycled tires and soda bottles into sassy sneaks:
http://www.simpleshoes.com/

Incorporates recycled clothes and car seats into creatively designed sneakers:
http://shop.terraplana.com/shop.aspx

Purses made from recycled aluminum can tabs
http://www.escamastudio.com/products/index.html

Some recycled hand-bags, and eco-friendly purses
http://www.her-design.com/catalog.htm

An awesome collection of unique designer handbags made from recycled car interior!
http://kimwhitehandbags.com/shop.html

Vintage find at St. Vincent De Paul, Sunday, May 06, 2007: From StarPhyre's Thrift Shopper Archives

2007-08-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

Check it out! It was only $9.99

Me wearing it:

Detail:

Lamp Refurbished, Sunday, June 03, 2007: From StarPhyre's DIY Archives

2007-08-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

I recently acquired a lamp, from my neighbors dying yardsale. My neighbor had a bunch of free stuff, and there were these two big ugly(well not THAT ugly)70's lamps sitting outside for free. I decided to fix them up, and give them a new look!

First stage:

Second stage:

Third stage:
For this one, I took a sponge, and cut little lines in the sponge w/ scissors, to give it more of an effect, and then painted light paint onto the sponge, then applied it to the lamp.

Final stage:
I then applied spray laquer to the lamp, and voila!

Fremont Festival, and the Naked Bike Ride; Sunday, June 17, 2007: From StarPhyre's Journal

2007-08-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

My bro, my Fiance, and I all went to the Fremont Fest yesterday. We missed the naked bike ride(luckily)but unfortunately we were exposed to(I only saw one naked old man)but according to my bro and Sam, three naked old men! Anyways, the best thing there was the cars that people had altered, and one chicks fairy costume :) Check it out!

Thrift shopping 101: Part 1; Costume jewelery

2007-08-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

The other day my fiance and I went to Value Village; and I found this amazing dress for a great deal!

Detail: The dress was only $4.99, and the blue hand painted seed beads were only $0.99! Baby blues are a great accent w/ dark browns!

How can you get great fashion finds for a low price, without the guilt of buying slave labor?
Thrift stores, yard sales, and consignment stores are my favorite choices for cute, or funky clothes and styles.

What will you need?
A sense of adventure
An imagination
A few bucks!

I used to dread thrift shopping, it was a last minute option for me.
All I ever saw when I walked in were isles of old lady sweaters, and dirty old shoes. I practically refused to browse the isles, and just couldn't bring myself to try anything on.
Years later I finally let go, and realized that my pocket book couldn't take my trips to Macy's and Nordstrom's anymore. I also hated dressing like the rest of the population.
One of the great things about thrift shopping, is the fact that you can get a cashmere sweater for $5, and you can't even get a tank-top at JC Penney's for less than $10.
The upsides of thrift shopping; constant variety, vintage finds, and you always feel like your on a treasure hunt!
The downsides to thrift shopping; hip thrift shoppers like me knowing just how to get great deals, before Thrift-noobs get them!
But no worries, that's why I'm here, to tell you how to find amazing outfits, and get the good stuff before Lame Jane grabs your vintage sequined blouse.

Depending on the thrift store you go to, depends on the frequency of up to date clothing, or 80's belly-button smashing jeans. No worries, they all usually have a treasure hidden somewhere.

Creating your jewelery collection:
The first place to check for jewelry, is the wall-hanging section. It's usually all priced the same, and you can get some great bracelets, earrings, necklaces etc.
Start by checking every single hook holding the jewelry, just cause it looks shiny, doesn't mean its quality. You want to check for glass, and stone beads, and necklace pieces.
To do this; simply click the piece against your tooth, and if it feels dense, and makes a slight ting sound against your tooth, its probably glass or stone. This is an easy way to decipher between shiny plastic, and glass.

Pot Metal, and Silver:
Check whatever jewelry you are looking at, to see if there are any missing rhinestones, bent metal, or extremely flexible metal. You want to stay away from pot-metal(this is a very cheap and easily snapped metal, usually made in china, and coming from retailers like Kohls).

What to look for to determine pot-metal: The findings(round chain link like things attaching the jewelery to the hook, clasp, etc)are split, not welded, or easily bendable. This is a bad sign, because your jewelery could easily fall off, or snap. The color of pot metal is usually much brighter than that of silver, and instead of grey coloring, it has black coloring to mimic silver. Silver is usually dull, or grey, and it is a softer metal, it doesn't snap as easily as pot metal. Older silver has tiny scratches, and small dents in the metal. It usually heats quickly to the touch.

Pearls, costume jewelery, and big beautiful beads:
I myself don't really care if the pearls are real or not, they are a cool accent for some outfits. Although; an easy way to check if the pearls or plastic beads you found are real pearls, is another tooth-checking method; the teeth don't lie!
Roll the bead against your tooth, if there are dents or it feels slightly gritty, you probably found real pearls, or damn good fakes. Otherwise, if they are plastic, they will be completely smooth and round.
You want your beads to be dense, and strong, not hollow. Just tap them w/ your fingernail, and if it feels heavy in your hand, and there's no hollow sound, those are high quality beads. Also; if they are paint covered, or chrome covered, scratch them lightly w/ a fingernail to make sure no paint chips off.

Beaded necklace string:
You want to make sure when you buy beaded necklaces, that the string holding them together is reasonably strong, and durable.
Think what a mess it would be if your out on a date, and your necklace catches on something, and beads scatter everywhere!
To make sure the string is strong, first check how closely the beads are from each other, if there are tiny knots between each bead, this is a good sign; it means it will hold together well. Try the tug-a-rope test, and grab either side with your hands, and lightly pull to the opposite direction of each hand. If the necklace gives, I wouldn't buy it; if it stays firm, it has less of a chance of snapping randomly. Just make sure the string is thicker than fishing line. Inspect w/ a magnifying glass if necessary, to check if it is twined like a mini-rope, once again a good sign. Big round plastic beads are a fun way to accent almost any outfit!

Quality materials/beads:
Wood
Seeds
Crystal
Stones
Glass
Thick plastic beads
Silver/Sterling
Gold

The second place to look for jewelery is of course, the infamous glass display cabinet! Usually the items in the display cabinets are higher priced, and most of the time, incorrectly priced. A lot of the time there is some good vintage brooches, pins, and really high quality necklaces. On the downside they get in a lot of retail costume jewelery that looks really shiny, but its worthless. Thrift stores will often charge very high prices for these pieces because they "look new". If it looks like it just came out of the JC Penney's or Mervyn's Juniors section, it probably did.

If you are not a frequent retail shopper, I recommend visiting your local retailer(excluding Macy's and Nordstrom's)Try Kohls, Sears, Ross, TJ Maxx, Mervyn's, or JC Penney. These are lower-end retailers. Browse the jewlery section, and inspect the costume jewelery. You will note that some earrings are bent, or the clasps don't connect properly. Some of the necklaces have missing rhinestones, or broken chains. Make sure you make a mental note of the way this type of costume jewelery looks; so when you are thrift shopping, be sure to avoid this cheaply made jewelery.
This may seem complicated at first, but once you get the knack of it, you'll be a pro thrift shopper!

I hope these tips help Thrift Shoppers new to the scene, I also recommend an awesome in-depth thrift shoppers guide, that really helped me: Secondhand Chic: Find fabulous fashion at Consignment, Vintage, and Thrift stores: By Christa Weil
You can get this book at your local library, if they don't carry it, you can usually ask them to buy the book for you!

In my next blog I will cover the basics of finding high quality clothing, and where to look!

Is it fair? (From Starphyre's Journal)

2007-08-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

I enter through the giant arch, displaying proudly what the name of this place is; The Fair.
I smell greasy food, foul body odor and beer breath. The sun is hot against my face, it peirces through my clothes; I feel as if my flesh is burning. The dirt is yellow, baking yellow under the yellow sun; its dry and dusty and devoid of life.
The dirt kicks up as crowds of people walk, clouds of yellow dirt billows up into the sky. I feel lost among the hulking machines, the stale smelling food stalls, the flashy colors and gimmicks, all disguising the threadbare remnants of dignity holding this place together. I know who they are, the ones who run the Farris Wheel, who pull the levers and gears, who grease the cogs and spit up dirt and blood from angels dust. The ones who run the show, who rig the games and laugh all the same. They have tattered clothes, and hollow eyes, missing teeth and flashy devices. They hide secrets, dirty tricks and dreams they'll never have. They are like all of us, just trying to get by.
They run the show, we are the guests to be entertained. Is it all what it seems? The spinning machines, the spider crawling up into the sky, the deadmans drop, and the mini train ride? Is it all fun and games, bright colors and butterflies in your stomach? I wonder this, as I show my ticket, and climb on board the rollercoaster ride. The man in the red jumpsuit powering the monster, smiles a crooked grin, I know his sins he hides inside.
I strap myself into the cart; and feel the cold metal bars press against my chest, the hard plastic seat bruise my butt. The red jumpsuit man pulls his lever, and I feel the rumble begin beneath me. The monster awakens with a stutter, a purr, and a roar. I hold myself tight, I know this ride isn't going to be what I expect, what I came for. The cart begins to slowly move forward, slowly gaining momentum. I feel the pressure building in the air, as the other passengers prepare for the rush.
Up the carts roll, higher and higher, anticipation clinging to me like the sweat pouring down my chest. And finally, it begins its drop. Its all a blur of adrenaline, screaming faces and my stomach jumping into my throat, it rattles me and pushes me back so hard against the plastic seat I feel I might break. I can't breath or move, just let it take me and feel the wind slice my skin, and sting like hot fire. And then its over. I'm sitting in the cart, my stomach in knots, my hair windblown into tangles, and the red jumpsuit man motions for me to get out. There's a line already forming. More people looking for a rush they can't find in life, looking for something safe to shake up their worlds so they can walk away, back to routine, back to simplicity, life without mystery.

Eating raw food: Its all about attitude

2007-08-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

Confessions of a raw-foodist

In the society we live in, eating uncooked food is looked down upon, considered dangerous. We are inundated daily w/ propaganda in the news, billboards, nutrition facts, commercials, all telling us to eat cooked food. They tell us to consume whole grain bread, to cut back on protein and fat, and increase on legumes, beans, potatoes, rice, etc. They tell us poisonous propaganda, and people eat it up like bowl of rice w/ soy sauce.

How do you bypass all this propaganda and widely perceived societal perceptions of eating raw food? How do you overcome the weird looks you receive as you grab a hunk of ground beef and pop it in your mouth like a gumdrop? How do you go to family dinners as your relatives inhale cooked to death turkey and buttered bread? I recently read an article by a man attempting to follow in Anjonous' diet, but failing because he couldn't take the pressure of his social life, and raw food diet, not meshing:

Social pressures have a great deal to do with diet. As I've said, my wife doesn't share at all in this diet and I'm going to my son's home for Thanksgiving dinner. He and his family don't share in this diet either. So, I'll be the "only one" eating in this strange way on this special occasion. That is tough to do for anyone!

It's hard to go to a birthday party and refuse the cake! It is even harder to then start lecturing to the party-goers about the evils of sugar!

If you are a pot smoker, for instance, and all your friends are pot smokers, you will feel very much out of place in the Woman's Christian Temperance Society. The reverse is true, obviously.

If you with your American values were to try to live in an African village of cannibals, you could hardly find it "right" to kill and eat your enemies. What is right for them is not right for you. You would have a hard time "fitting in" that group.

So, we are a society of cooked food eaters! We are a society of sugar eaters. When you deviate THIS much from such a basic behavior, you will not fit in. Click here to read about my personal experience with compromising my own reality and eating a full complement of cooked food just to "fit in." I regretted it soon thereafter.

Even if you suppress your disgust at others eating cooked stuff, you feel it. Even when they are polite to you, they consider you weird.

I don't know what the solution for this is, but I am obviously looking for it.

This desire to be with people who are "like you" certainly explains why Catholics marry Catholics, usually, and why it is a big deal when it doesn't happen. That is not so rigid today as it used to be, so it's a safe example to use here.

When I was young it was a real deviant behavior for a black person and a white person to marry -- still not "normal" but more accepted.

In this same way, I suppose, we will arrive at a social acceptance of "raw food eaters."

http://www.karlloren.com/Diabetes/raw-food-diet.htm

Now here is his biggest mistake: Perception.

Because our society has been in the same routine for so long, we fear deviating from the herd, we fear exclusion, we fear alienation.

My experiences w/ people's perceptions about my diet have varied, but mostly it has not been negative. When you fear something, or you are self-conscious of something, it is maximized to the outside world as being more extreme than it truly is. For example, if you wake up one morning w/ a pimple, you are completely horrified and you don't even want to leave your house; then throughout your day, everyone will probably stare at your pimple. But; if you wake up, stick some medicine on it, think;(its not too bad)and completely forget its even there, people will hardly even notice it.

I had one experience that really changed my outlook and made me feel really good, when I was working for Greenpeace.
When you were recruited to work sites, they usually sent a partner w/ you, especially when you're a noob. I was recruited w/ a guy, who was kinda nerdy, his hair was thinning and he was MY age, and he tried his best to eat the seattlite healthy way(soy milk and wheat bread etc.) I told him right off I ate raw meat(When I tell people I eat raw meat I act casual, like its perfectly normal)He said; "Really? Straight up just raw meat?" I said "Yup." He says to me; "So at lunch today, your just gonna pull out a package of raw meat and start eating it?" I reply; "Yes."

So lunch rolls around, I pull out my little Styrofoam and plastic wrapped package of ground beef, and I start eating it, dipping it in my favorite Annie's mustard. My companion then looks at me, pushes his meal to the side, and says; "Alright!" Now my first thought is he can't handle watching me eat my ground beef, and he's lost his appetite, but then he says; "Let me try some, I've gotta try everything at least once!" I'm in complete shock, totally speechless, this cooked food eater is asking to try some of my raw meat! I say; "Are you sure?" He's like; "Yeah why not!" So I pass him the package, and my mustard. He grabs a hunk, dips it, pops it in his mouth, chews it a bit, and tells me; "Hey, that's not too bad, I thought it would taste gross."

That experience greatly imprinted me, to realize that if you act strange and hidden about your raw meat eating habits, people will perceive it the same way as if you were hiding your meth pipe and losing rapid amounts of weight and you don't want anyone knowing.

So my general attitude about raw meat, is to sit down, w/e your hungry, and enjoy a good bowl of ground beef uninhibited. If people ask what your eating, simply state; "A bowl of raw meat." Don't act shy or nervous, be forward about your diet. If they ask questions, answer as politely as possible, you'll be surprised how many people are just curious more than they are disgusted or disturbed. I've had a lot of people just think it was really awesome that I was the only person they'd ever met that ate raw meat. Act like your raw meat eating is cool(cause it totally is)and be proud of your unique and healthy food choice, and the fact that you are way hotter than your cooked food eating friend!

Sky

Confessions of a Raw Foodist

2007-08-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

I am a raw-foodist, of the RVAF category. My diet includes the following:
Mainly, raw ground beef
Raw fish
Raw vegetables
Raw complex carbohydrates (roots)
Raw fruits
Raw nuts
Raw milk
Dried fruits
PLENTY of water

Now it wasn't always this way…

The story of how I got here?
When I was young(1-2yrs) we were vegetarians; until my mom decided to give me a chicken drum one day…I was reportedly on my haunches, ripping at it with my teeth, my face covered in chicken grease.
I finished it within minutes, and looked up at my parents and shouted “MORE!” It was then that my parents realized my body must need meat.
From (2-14yrs) we ate meat twice to three times a week because my mom read that meat clogs your colon(which it does, but only cooked meat).
The rest of the week we ate large amounts of carbs; lentils, wheat bread, brown rice, even brown tortillas, beans, legumes etc.
For breakfast my family ate oatmeal, cornmeal, bulgur, millet, amaranth, cream of rice, every kind of hot morning cereal imaginable.
We ate salads with our carb dishes (which is probably the only thing that kept us alive).

Our family was allergic to pasteurized milk, so we switched to Soy
Milk, and Rice milk. Now I'm sure a lot of you are thinking; well all
those things are whole grains, so they must not be bad for you? In
truth; grains and carbs, are pretty much completely toxic to the human
body.

We have canines for a reason; because we eat meat.
You don't see tigers baking bread and cooking their gazelles over a
blazing hot fire. Not because they are "less advanced than us" but
because they are natural, and they are eating what their bodies tell
them to eat. We kill our food; cooking destroys all of the natural
things that make it good for us.
We are like vampires eating blood after it has been boiled; it will make us unhealthy and sick.

Most of society has grown used to the reality of having health problems;
So much so, that society is taught to believe it is a normal part of
life to be unhealthy and sick.
In my teens(14-17) I was so frustrated by my inability to gain weight,
that my best friend recommended I eat junk food and don't exercise. I
followed her advice; and ate the complete opposite of my family's diet.
I used to be like a lot of you, munching on Doritos, Hot Cheetos and
bean dip, greasy bake in your oven pizza, soda-pop, starburst and Twix.
I would drink homogenized pasteurized milk, and go w/ my friends
families to Old Country Buffet.

I'd look forward to my nightly visit w/ my cousin to the corner store,
so I could buy my ham n' cheese hot-pockets and sit outside on the water
bottle cases munching on micro-waved heaven. I loved Starbucks and visited
daily to get my fix of Veinte Carmel Mocha triple shot extra Carmel Frappachino.

I loved convenience stores and junk-food isles, tub ice-cream with
cardboard and lard, added chocolate flavoring and the almighty MSG and
corn syrup.
Lets not forget take-out Panda Express and midnight Jack in the Box monster tacos. But all that wonderful chemicalized artificial crap was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Add to the cocktail of aluminum filled products, some cheap sulfated beer, and whatever alcohol I could get a hold of, and you've got yourself a typical lower-class American teenager.

Through this diet of junk-food I had gained stubborn belly fat on my
abdomen, and stretch marks on my butt. I had no firmness in my body; I
was all cottage cheese and soft fat, but there was no weight to me.
I was really skinny, but not firm.
I thought that eating junk food was the only way to gain weight, but it was in ALL the wrong places.
Mostly my stomach, and lower half, I had chub, but not curve. My face lost its
shape and definition, I still had a chin, but it was just a round bubble face.

I had severe acne, not just on my face. I was constantly tired; I never
had any energy, and I felt like I was living in some cloudy haze. My
thoughts were never clear and I was a complete klutz.
I had frequent, almost daily migraine headaches (We will talk about migraines in another blog).
I remember going to school, and coming home every day so exhausted I would just sleep for the rest of the day.
I was at an all-time low in myself, and it seemed I was forever sinking lower.

My family ended up moving from Arizona to Washington, and it got even
worse then. I became so depressed I refused to leave my house, and I
slept for days, hardly moving, and vegging on the computer.
This went on for months, until my aunt needed me to assist in helping my dying Great
Grandmother, in Arizona.
It was when I moved back to Arizona that I started to become a bit more health conscious, but only in the sense of using band-aids.
I cleared up the majority of my acne by using over the
counter products. Because I was a live-in house-maid,
I started to get plenty of circulation and exercise, my health improved
much, but not everything was perfect.

I was getting knee and joint problems so severe I would get
knee dislocation; the joint would literally completely pop out of
socket, and then back in again.
My aunt had convinced me that I needed special knee surgery, a process in which surgeons would literally shave off some of my ligament and re-sew it together.
My mom was horrified by the idea of pointless surgery, and tried explaining to me it was my diet causing these problems.
I refused to listen to my mother's advice, or believe her.

Luckily, I did not get the surgery….because years later after I had
switched to an RVAF diet, I met a girl on a Grayhound bus when I was on
my way from Illinois to Washington; she had received the same surgery I
would have gone through for my joint problems. She could no longer run
or swim, and her knee made squeaking noises whenever she moved it…she
was in pain constantly.
I was so relieved I did not let some doctor butcher me; but instead changed my way of living. I had realized that w/e health problems I had, were only because of the way I was eating and living life.

I was a light drinker, no longer an alcoholic like I had been
previously.
Even so, every morning after I would drink I would get
heart-palpitations; these would last all throughout the day, until
night. By then, I would get really scared, and we would end up in the
emergency room.

I thought my health was the best it would ever be, and I accepted these
problems as if they were irreversible. My belief at the time was that;
as long as you are happy, your health will reflect it(I'm not saying
that this isn't true, being happy is definitely a large part of diet).

I took care of things at my aunts, surviving off of coffee, and working
a part time job at a pizza place. I eventually met some guy and moved in
with him; that relationship broke off, and I moved back home to Washington
with my family in the summer of 06.

Life went on for me, living w/ health problems I claimed had nothing to
do with diet. I got a part time job at JC Penney's that summer. I decided to go back to school after summer was over.

How did I find out about this diet?

My mother had a life-threatening debilitating disease, she was on her
deathbed at 38 years old. This disease is called Grave's Disease; it is
a disease of a hyperactive thyroid. It can cause inability to gain
weight, hair loss, accelerated aging, gray hair, weak joints and
muscles, weakened ligaments, blindness, weak retinas, acne, clubbed feet,

flat feet, lethargy, blindness, insomnia, depression etc. All of these
symptoms are accelerated by any kind of stress, or overworking. This
disease runs in my family, my brother and I both have it, w/ varying
degrees of severity.
Grave’s Disease can remain dormant even until your thirties, or occur in young childhood.

My mother had tried everything to combat her Grave’s Disease; supplements, less
meat, more whole grains, Kombucha, EM(Effective Microbes), Blue-green
Algae, de-toxing enemas. She did Yoga, and Qi Gong; along with meditation.

Her search for answers led her on a path to raw meat; her instincts told
her that she should eat raw meat.
So she did large amounts of research, and all her research only led her to information on feeding raw meat to animals.
The recipes for the animal food were all these elaborate complicated
ways of eating raw meat.
So, desperate to find a solution, she tried the recipes, and the very preparation made the meat taste horrid.
So she moved on, in search of the cure to all her health problems, but not
forgetting that urge to eat raw meat.

Later, she came upon a Raw Meat and Animal Foods group, on Yahoo!
Groups, ran by Vinnie Pinto, inspired by the RVAF diet discovered by
Aajonus Vonderplanitz.
This diet contained NO grains, legumes, beans, breads, or cereals.
The diet focused mainly on the consumption of raw beef, and raw fish, and raw milk;
as well as juicing, vegetables, and low amounts of fruits, raw nuts, and dried fruits.

She switched to this diet immediately, excited to have finally found a
cure!
A little over three years later and still on her RVAF diet, her
Grave's Disease is completely cured, and she's getting younger every
day.
My mom had tried many times convincing me that my health problems
would be solved if I just stopped eating carbs, and cooked food.

To be perfectly honest, I thought she was crazy, I mean I was RAISED by
her, to eat whole grains and hardly any meat.
I thought; she's just being a hypocrite, changing her mind again.
From my perspective, being that of a selfish uncaring teenager,
I had hardly paid any heed to my mother's disease.
I was hardly ever home long enough to know that these
were serious realities, I was in a state of denial.
All I had seen was my mom taking miracle cures that never seemed to work, and in my mind, it was all as simple as ignoring there was a problem.

Throughout the whole summer, my mother and I slowly resolved our issues.
I learned of her diet, and improved my own diet, although; I still
refused to switch to her way of eating.

After summer was over; I went back to high-school, I was in 12th grade.
That year, all the kids in the school caught a nasty flu, and I hadn't
had a flu in about 4 years. It was terrible; I had body aches and
nausea, horrible sinus problems, all the bad things that go with a typical
flu.

It was because of that flu that I made a vow to myself, that I never
wanted to be sick again; so I quit all carbs. I completely withdrew from
all forms of grains, breaking down only ONCE, to try a Newman-o's Oreo
cookie; and realized it wasn't what it was all was cracked up to be.

As my diet of salad, medium rare steak, and fruit progressed, I noticed
many benefits, but it still wasn't enough.
I watched my mom prepare her raw ground beef,
not able to bring myself to take that last step.
I began to get so health conscious that I started to jog every day, along
w/ yoga and dancing.
My health improved; but I was losing a lot of weight.
Then one day after a morning jog, I went to into the kitchen,
and saw my mom preparing raw meat sushi rolls.
I took a deep breath; I knew this was it…I asked my mom if I could try a bite!
I popped it in my mouth, and damn, it was pretty good! That was the beginning of my raw meat diet, and I haven't looked back since.
In this series of blogs we will learn how cutting out the carbs, and
eating plenty of raw fat and protein, can cure ANY health problem,
disease, symptom, and even mental illness!

The Game: Tuesday, October 24, 2006

2007-08-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

I posted this blog last year, when I was attempting to go back to HS in 12th grade. I was raised as a homeschooled child, and taught how to learn for myself, as well as being taught knowledge passed from my parents. I was taught never to accept anything as base fact, w/out doing my own research. I was encouraged to learn for myself; why something was, how it worked, on top of my parents guidance. I was taught to always stand up for my beliefs, my values, and state my opinion. I was taught that no matter what my age, I was not less than adults just because they were older, or they were authority figures. Look at hitler!

The Game

I have come to the conclusion, that truly, I cannot play the game, because I will not let myself. To truly play the game, I would have to become a minute pawn, and unlearn my awareness. I would have to put myself, into a self-induced sleep. Once aware, truly, openly, and willingly aware, one cannot w/ a clear conscience, go back to sleep.

Every day I get up, at 5:45, I prune and primp, and dress my part, I gather my papers and bags, and laptop, and trudge off to the corner of N. 200th and Wallingford; I wait in the freezing cold 30 degree weather for a bus cram-packed full of teenagers, clogging the windows w/ condensation as I feel the muggy sticky air full of germs, my stomach turns. I listen to their banter in my half-awake trance/daze, meaningless conversations not pertaining to my reality, but to the reality of our information-depraved youth.
I cannot look into the future and see myself riding bus #26, every single day for the rest of the school year. Then the bus pulls to a stop in front of the jam packed system of ants, as they wander in herds to classrooms full of information more outdated then the building it is taught inside. And I watch in horror, as I too, wander off in my herd, to my classroom, as the bell rings. I take my seat in my first period, as I daze off, and my mind wanders; I question why I sit here relearning information, at an incredibly slow and disgustingly tedious rate.
Previous to this adventure in the government-run land of preset curriculum's, I was learning at my own pace, with library books on everything that fascinated me, and videos and materials, that I seemed to consume like a healthy snack.
I learned much quicker this way, and I realize this system is designed to pull us down into a vicious replaying cycle of old information regurgitated onto thousands of young minds every year, to keep us in the proper boxes, where they think we belong.
Subjects come up that I disagree with, and they ask me shut my mouth, to sit down and pretend I agree with everything; not to follow my own sources, books and links. They ask me to learn solely from the materials they have given me. To truly understand an undiluted version of history, of government, of science, of art, one must hear all sides of the story, or fall pray to a cycle of stagnation; never growing, learning, becoming, or understanding. Retaining only the information fed to us, so that we may become carbon copies of information, instead of people w/ opinions and ideas.
I cannot play this game when truth bleeds from the corners of every lie I watch them spit out onto papers. I will play the game where it suits me.
This reality is filled w/ knowledge, yet ignorance is the disease that seems predominant in minds. As a person, I will not accept the constants, the barriers and walls placed in an "as is" reality; because I will grow old, and regret everything I never learned, every thing I never pursued, and die as an individual living apart of a mass agreed consciousness.
To truly pursue ones dreams, one must first understand what those dreams are, one must dabble in many arts and sciences, politics and experiences, and whatever it is they feel most acutely attracted to, mostly passionately desire, that is their calling; and one should never ignore its voice. We should chase after that dream, and make it our reality.
I feel that the school system dilutes and clogs our minds, filling us w/ an unnecessary amount of pointless information, so that we are so overwhelmed, we cannot truly let our minds clearly understand and see what we are being told; resulting in the blurring of our vision. We become confused w/ the over-inundation of information, and agree only because we don't know any better. I believe as people, we have endless potential, endless possibilities, but we are restrained, restricted, and told where to go and what to believe. The majority of these students will graduate only to work a minimum wage job, settle down, and raise a family, barely getting by; another slave to our economy.
This game is not about the faces of politicians, the laws of our government; it's about power. We are the slaves, and to remain as such, we are required to participate in the programs that continue our ignorance. The bus drivers, the teachers, the janitors, construction workers, cashiers and clerks, and so on, and so forth; they play the game and continue feeding the monster, as it grows, we weaken. We allow it to feed off of our energy, our hearts, the very essence of our beings we pour into these slave jobs, and for what? Clothes made in third world countries, cheap genetically modified food; poisoning our bodies? We are given a slaves necessities, and our consciousness is too bedraggled, too torn and beaten to fight back. I, as a person, and a being, will no longer participate in this game.

Indigo Children: Higher beings or just brats?

2007-08-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

The indigo child:
The following is an excerpt from a supposed Informative Indigo Children web site:
http://www.metagifted.org/topics/metagifted/indigo/

Is Your Child an Indigo?

To find out, ask yourself these questions:

Did your child come into the world acting like royalty?
Does your child have a feeling of deserving to be here?
Does your child have an obvious sense of self?
Does your child have difficulty with discipline and authority?
Does your child refuse to do certain things they are told to do?
Is waiting in lines torture for your child?
Is your child frustrated by ritual-oriented systems that require little creativity?
Does your child see better ways of doing thing at home and at school?
Is your child a nonconformist?
Does your child refuse to respond to guilt trips?
Does your child get bored rather easily with assigned tasks?
Does your child display symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder?
Is your child particularly creative?
Does your child display intuition?
Does your child have strong empathy for others?
Did your child develop abstract thinking very early?
Is your child very intelligent?
Is your child very talented (may be identified as gifted)?
Does your child seem be a daydreamer?
Does your child have very old, deep, wise looking eyes?
Does your child have spiritual intelligence?

Now seriously folks, actually READ these questions. Doesn't this sound a bit like an undisciplined brat? What EXACTLY defines "Old, deep, wise looking eyes"?

Excerpt from Indigo Children page:
There's a very good chance your child is an Indigo if he/she was born after 1992. About 85% or higher of children born in '92 or later, 90% born in '94 or after and 95% or more born now (some even say 99%) are Indigo Children! Does this mean you aren't one if you were born prior to 1992? No! I've heard reports that they started coming in the 80s, but that means coming in larger numbers. I believe there have been Indigos born in every year, but perhaps not in high enough percentages to notice their presence and see what makes them so unique. So can you be a 24 yr old Indigo or a 50 year old one? Yes!

Lets mention the fact that after the 90's, children were more increasingly being raised by TV's, Daycares, Nanny's, and electronic noise-producing toys. Or how about the new learning video games they have out; where you just sit little Sally down in front of her "Learning Game" and she can vege out without any parental participation.

Lets also mention our increasingly degrading economy, the sudden "Foreclosure Crisis", and both parents having to work full time jobs while barely getting by. Most children are being fed lunchables and pop-tarts; because their parents do not have time to teach them how to make their own meals, nor do they have money to buy them proper healthy lunches.

These days, most parents only have time to drop the kids off at soccer practice, sit them in front an x-box or cable TV; and avoid spending any time actually interacting w/ them. Hence why we have a new generation of rude, irresponsible, brats.

I was recently working at a home daycare, and happen to notice that all of these children literally did not KNOW how to PLAY. They attempted to play house, but got confused or bored and moved on to play cars. They did not know how to make sounds for the vehicles; because all the toys have devices installed to create noise for them.
They did not know how to act, or play pretend, because no one had ever taught them. I remember seeing children come into the daycare; they would get so excited they would completely forget about their parents, and charge into the daycare, w/ grins on their faces. They called the day care owner "Mom" because they saw her more often than their own parents. When summer break came, 8 year olds were attending the daycare and being tortured by boredom, instead of going on camping trips or to the park.
The "Teacher" daycare owner, did not talk to them like people, but instead talked AT them as if they were non-human entities, or inanimate objects. I would look at the children and talk to them on THEIR terms, and explain what "Teacher" meant. They would appreciate this, and were happy to oblige to what they were asked.

The new trend in child rearing: Unconditional Love.
What a load of crap. If your child throws a rock at your head, are you going to give them a big hug? No! Your going to sit them down, tell them why this is bad, and punish them for their behavior. No one likes this word "Punish"; most people equate it with using a belt or a ruler. When I was a child, my parents came up w/ very creative ways of punishment; my brother and I once got all of our toys taken away for a month when we didn't clean our room. We had to earn our toys back by doing chores.
When we talked back we got soap in our mouths, or duck tape. Was this death? Horrible or cruel torture? No; it was a method of letting us know that shit won't fly.

Not only did my parents teach us discipline, but they let us know the reasons why certain things were not cool. My mom let me know all of the dangers of drugs with own her horror stories. When I got older and drugs came into my life, via friends, I said HELL NO.
My parents also interacted w/ us as people, taught us how to cook, clean, build, and DEFEND ourselves. That's right, my parents taught us how to fight. Now I'm sure most of you are shaking in your boots now, "that's not right!" Violence is BAD. Well guess what? It exists, its a natural part of nature, of being a predator.
Follow this link for a comprehensive article on what it means to be a predator:
(http://www.lockergnome.com/nexus/shadowmyth/2007/07/22/the-suppression-of-predatory-desires If we can't defend ourselves, then others will walk all over us. I'm not saying to choose random fights, but if someone attacks me, I'm going to defend myself.
The Indigo Children, are just an excuse for parents to continue being bad parents, w/out taking responsibility for their actions.

As a parent, ask yourself THESE questions:

1. Is my child acting out because I'm not acknowledging them?

2. Am a being a good parent?

3. Are my children not respectful of others, because they were not taught how to interact w/ others?

4. Do I play pretend with my children?

5. Do my children spend more time with the Nanny, than me?

I think you get the picture. Look in the mirror, look at your child. Ask yourself if using a bunch of excuses for their behavior is really in their benefit, or if it just makes it easier for you? If you want a revolution, or some new "Vibrational Pattern" be a good parent, and a friend to your child. Teach your children to be conscious of their surroundings, of others, give them purpose. Right now we have a generation of children who don't give a damn; they are lost and confused, depressed and "Emo", or violent and uncaring. Why? Because they were never given any purpose. Teach them how to live, how to cook, or sew, or do construction(not Bob the Builder videos). The revolution starts with you being a real parent.

What I got for free-Improvisation leads to creation

2007-07-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

Today my fiance and I(we live in a tent in my parents backyard)woke up to the ring of Sam's(my fiance's)cell phone, it was his mom.
So; at 9:30 this morning we go into the house, Sam sits down at his computer, pops up the free section of Craigslist, and goes off to make breakfast and forgets about it. I walk over to his computer seeing CG's free section; and unable to contain my curiosity sit down and start to browse, the first thing I see is: ITS ALL FREE, FREE FREE, TAKE IT ALL!!!!
So I click, and its an estate sale of free stuff, I huge one that starts at 10:00am! So I get the address, google it, wake up my mom, and get my dad to drive, and my whole family gets in the van and drives there. We are ten minutes early!
Here's what we got:

A vintage model 401A Singer sewing machine, attached to a table:(I've wanted one FOREVER)

Black mink fur coat
Pair of dress shoes
Women's stockings
A tackle box of deep sea fishing equipment
A bunch of towels, wash cloths, and sheets
Hammer
Salt shaker & pepper grinder
A huge cardboard box of candles
Sealed glass food stuff jars
Candy thermometer & baking thermometer
Henna shampoo
2 tea makers
8 kitchen knives
A sithe
Gasmask
Whip cream dispenser
Acrylic paints
High quality artist paper(LOTS)
Mason jar lids
Vintage drapes(I use for clothing fabric)
Copper food display tray(My bro and dad are going to use this for a dice rolling device)
3 monkey wrenches
C-clamp
Hand-powered vintage drill, and bits
Long screw driver
Wood bleaching kit
Coffee maker
2 Vintage lamps:

Now I'm sure everyone reading this, thinks that my family is a bunch of pack-rats, but in absolute truth, we have real uses, for all of these things!

Adventure in the bathroom: Part VII

2007-07-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Tired of running out of shaving cream two weeks after you buy 3 cans? Or how about the fact all those aerosol cans end up in land fills, un-recyclable? Or the wonderful toxins it releases into the ozone later?! Oh the guilt of shaving...
But; there IS a solution!

$3 shave soap: herban cowboy(Or any other brand)
Buy a shave brush, and this stuff lasts far longer than the aerosol cans of shaving cream. Its smoothe on your legs, or your face(if your a man) A guilt-free shave is always best!

What are your favorite hair removal tips?

Adventure in the bathroom: Part VI

2007-07-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

Bad breath? Clear spots or white lines on your teeth? Gum decay?
All symptoms of Flouride usage!

Follow this link for an educational blog on the dangers of Flouride, by ShadowMyth:
http://www.lockergnome.com/nexus/shadowmyth/2007/07/05/dont-drink-the-water

An awesome working alternative to flouride, that is ALSO dentist recommended is Xylitol. It is a great whitener, and a tooth decay preventative.

$6 Xyliwhite toothpaste:
You can buy this at your natural grocer, or in the natural section of your grocery store. Its my family's, and my favorite brand of toothpaste! It leaves your teeth squeaky clean and your breath fresh and minty.

A great tooth whitener?
Strawberries! Who knew having a sweet tooth could have some benefits? Freeze these babies for preservation(dethaw a peice before bedtime brushing) and you can rub them on your teeth nightly for long-term benefits.

What are your favorite tooth whitening tricks?

Adventure in the bathroom: Part V

2007-07-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

You ever notice when your in a large crowd of people and you either smell extremely obnoxious body odor coming from next to you, or a lady wearing so much deodorant you can't breath?
Regular pharmacy deodorant: Poison. Now why is this the case? Because of one main ingredient: Aluminum. Now in marketing standards(we don't care about the people, just the money)its a quick fix for bad body odor because it shrinks the pores, not allowing any sweat or to odor pass through your glands. This is almost as disturbing, as the plastic surgical operation to have your arm pit pores permantly blocked off; so you no longer excrete sweat from those glands. Now I know this doesn't sound like a bad thing, but your arm pits are there for a reason! They let all the toxins out through your sweat. If its not coming out your pits, its either coming out your forehead, or its gestating in your pores and creating a world of bacteria! Aluminum is not only a bad thing because of that reason; it is also a poison to the human body. It is one of the main causes of Alzheimer's, foggy brain, slower reflexes, etc. When you switch from your aluminum brand of deodorant; you will notice an increase in clarity of thought!

The solution:

I have found the following brands of deodorant not carrying aluminum work great!

$3-5 Salt rock:
You can pick this up at your specialty health food store, or in the natural health care section of your regular grocer. The salt is anti-bacterial, and keeps your pores tight for minimal odor! My fiance uses this, he is a gardener/carpenter, he works in the sun all day and comes home w/out a bit of scent!(He reccomends to run it under water for a second to wet it, before applying for maximum effect)

$3-5 Jason Tea Tree oil deoderant:
Tea tree oil is a natural anti-bacterial, and deodorizer. My dad uses this brand because it is the only one he doesn't have an allergic reaction to.

$5 Herbal clear sport(No aluminum, dyes or alcohol!):
This is the brand I personally use. The scents are mild and slighty soapy, for men and women.
Works great, but depending on the person; I use it twice a day.

If you have any great brands of aluminum free deodorant, I'd love to know about them!

Adventure in the bathroom: Part IV

2007-07-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

In this next blog, I’m going to talk about my favorite masks and facials!

Most masks and facials on the market contain Alcohol, paraben waxes, and dyes. They will also add “token” ingredients; small portions of recognizable well-known healthful ingredients to make you BELIEVE they are natural. For example, a lot of skin products claim they contain aloe vera, avocado, or fruit extracts. Just because they contain natural ingredients, does not mean they are worth the price jump, or the effects they have on your skin. They include very small overly processed amounts of natural ingredients. Because of all the added chemicals, this pretty much destroys and cancels out any properties these ingredients may have. The best thing to do, is to buy your own from the grocery store, and make them yourself!

What will you need in your cupboard, ready and handy for an emergency skin care?

$10-20lb Bentonite Clay:
This is a MUST for a major skin detoxer! This is grayish white clay; it is not too harsh on the skin, like red and brown clays. You can pick this up at your natural health food store; you only need a few ounces, and it lasts months. Take a small amount(about ¼ tsp)and mix w/ a few drops of water. Spread onto face, and let dry, then wash off. You may notice a bit of redness for up to an hour if you have never used it before. Do not be alarmed, your face will return to its natural color, and your pores will be clean and small! Use once a week, if needed. I recommend moisturizing w/ Jojoba oil after the redness fades.

Egg whites:
Use one raw egg white, spread onto face and let dry, then wash off. You will notice your skin feels an increase in breathing, softness, and pore shrinkage!

$3.00 lb Raw honey mask:
You can pick up raw honey from your local grocer, or specialty health food store. Spread onto face thinly, let sit for 15-30 minutes, and wash off. Your skin will be cleansed and hydrated! It’s an awesome moisturizer!

$3-7 Aloe Vera:
You can buy a fresh piece of aloe, from your grocer or specialty store! It is awesome for scars, calming blemishes, and moisturizing. Slice off a small piece, rub onto face, let dry and rinse.

What are your favorite natural masks?

Adventure in the bathroom: Part III

2007-07-25T14:28:00.000-07:00

Get your minds out of the gutter, and into the shower!

In this blog I will give you some great ideas for blemish treatments; and some of them are right out of your kitchen cupboard!

What are the main problems w/ the over-the-counter acne medicine?

Well I’m sure most of you have found it starts to work, and then after a month your problem gets worse and you have to switch to the next best acne cure.

Alcohol and acetone:
While a lot of acne treatment information will tell you that these chemicals work in treating acne; the truth is that it kills off all of your natural bacteria that helps to FIGHT off the acne. It doesn’t just dry out your skin, it destroys the natural PH balance of your skin. Alcohol is a petroleum product(derived from plastics)it is toxic to the skin, and in the long run you will end up having enlarged pores and thirsty skin.

Sulfur:
My mother and I have personally tried sulfur, and at first our skin looked amazing, but a few weeks down the line, it started to change the texture of our skin. Our skin was very dry and our pores were enlarged. I do not recommend using it as an all over treatment for acne because it kills beneficial bacteria as well as the bacteria causing the acne. I do however recommend it as a spot treatment.

Salicylic Acid:
I recommend using products with 5% Salicylic acid, to treat acne, 2% is too low of a percentage, and the pharmaceutical companies get away w/ a low percentage because consumers see that it contains this active ingredient, and assume it must work.

$7 Tea Tree Oil:
Try using Tea Tree oil as a spot treatment, you can buy this at just about any grocery store that has a natural and organic section, you can also buy it at your local health food store, or specialty herbal store. Make sure it is pure undiluted tea tree oil! It lasts forever so don’t be jaded by the price.

$10-12 Neem Oil:
Neem oil is good as a spot treatment, and an all over skin refresher when left on overnight. If you buy it like I did in bulk, where it is used as a bug repellent on plants, it has a very strong smell. I would buy Neem oil that is specifically for your skin, unless you want to spend the next morning steaming your face to get rid of the smell. Besides that I don’t think I’ve found a better miracle cure than this stuff.

Garlic Cloves:
Another awesome spot treatment I only use when I’m desperate; slice in half a clove of garlic and rub it on your zit. The garlic is an anti-bacterial, and it is also a fast healer of cuts and razor-burn.

$5 Dessert Essence Thoroughly Clean Face Wash: W/ organic Tea Tree Oil and Awapuhi:
My favorite face wash, it keeps my skin soft w/out over-drying, and it’s awesome at keeping mild acne at bay.

Now those are just my favorite cures, and treatments! Hope these help; what are your favorite cures?

An adventure in the bathroom: Part II

2007-07-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

In this next blog you will learn how to make your own exfoliators and scrubs, and which products are safe to buy.

Now why are the body washes/face washes w/ exfoliating beads so bad for your skin?
Well first off, most of them contain petroleum based wax, as the exfoliating "beads." What this does, is polish your skin with the wax, giving it the appearance that you have just exfoliated and now your skin is "smooth and soft". In actuality these waxes spread bacteria and trap it under the skin, causing blackheads, or ingrown hairs. This is because the pores are filled w/ wax and can't breath. Ladies, if you've just exfoliated, your skin is going to be bright red, as much as this sucks, it doesn't last long, and your skin stays soft much longer!
Once again these products generally contain Mineral oil(effects described in An adventure in the bathroom PT I)

The solution:

Loofahs! You can buy them at your local health-food store, spa, or online for about $5-15 dollars depending on size. They are great exfoliators and all natural.

$11.99 Trillium Organics body polish
This brand guarantees they do not use parabens.
It contains a blend of salt and sunflower oil, as well as sage essential oil.

Now if your a DIY'er like me, you'll love my personal home recipe for soothing body polish, great for using right before you shave!

Sky's Body scrub
1 cup of redmond sea salt/or course salt(you can usually get scented salt in spa supply stores in bulk)
1/4 cup cold pressed extra virgin olive oil
4 drops lavender essential oil(if your salt is unscented)

Grind salt in coffee grinder, until medium grind, not too big, not too fine. Pour in olive oil, and essential oil, stir until it is a fine paste, add more olive oil if it is too dry.
Then take a washcloth and spread your mixture on, gently scrub, and voila! Keep stored in your fridge so that the olive oil doesn't go rancid. I don't reccommend using it on your face, as it is too rough.

Face exfoliators:

I love sugar:
Try mixing about a tablespoon of sugar, and half a teaspoon of olive oil into a paste, spread over your face, and gently rotate your fingers in tight circles. Wash your face w/ a light soap to remove excess olive oil. The sugar acts as a mild acid to eat away the dead skin, and the olive oil lubricates it off of your face, while moisturizing.

Foot scrub:
Dip your feet in warm olive oil for a few minutes, then buff your feet w/ course salt, rinse afterwards.

Dry lips?
Take an old soft toothbrush, apply a small amount of olive oil to the bristles, brush lips gently to slew off any dead skin.
You can also rub olive oil on them before you go to sleep, and wake up w/ soft lips!

In my next blog I will talk about awesome blemish remedies, and face washes!
Stay tuned ladies, cause you won't want to miss this next one :)

An Adventure in the Bathroom: Part I

2007-07-25T14:26:00.001-07:00

Get your minds out of the gutter ladies!
If your a typical woman, like me; your bathroom is probably filled w/ varying brands of shampoos and conditioners, lotions, face masks, cleansers, exfoliators, detoxers, scrubs, moisturizers, and different deoderant scents...I think you get the point! All of these products you probably rotate through, finding that as soon as you find a product that actually WORKS it starts doing the opposite a month later, and you find yourself staring at dead ends and an overused flat-iron. Or; tired dry skin, wondering WHEN your going to give it a break and let it breath.
I used to have a bathroom filled w/ "Wonder Products". Things like Clearisil Icy foaming cleanser, Got2b In Your Face masks and scrubs, Oil of Olay moisturizers and make-up removers, Pantene Pro-V, etc. There's always the "Exfoliating" body washes like Tone, and Caress.
I'm here to tell you that these amazing wonder cures that stop working, or cause an increase of your problem, are actually the root of all evil, BUT not your last source of salvation. In the following series of blogs, I'm going to teach you how to eliminate the majority of your bathroom space stealing products; so get ready to clean your shelves!

About a year ago, I started to go "Au Natural"(No not giving up on shaving my legs and washing my hair EW!) I slowly threw away all my bathroom products, until I was left w/ an almost barren shelf(I had more bathroom products then my whole family combined) I replaced all of my products w/ natural home remedies and natural products.

Now why are the Pharmacy brands of body care products so bad for you?

Moisturizers:
Most of the moisturizers on the market, contain Mineral Oil.
Mineral oil:(a petroleum product) is basically an illusory quick fix for dry skin, but over time your skin can no longer produce its natural oil, and relies on the mineral oil. After awhile your skin becomes immune to the oil and dries out. So; you end up buying WAY more lotion, and switching brands to fight off this over-dried skin problem.

The other main ingredient of lotion, is Alchohol; no matter what name they put in front of it, its still a petroleum product. They add this nifty little ingredient to DRY OUT the skin, so that you don't break out from all the skin irritating chemicals they add.
(If your really curious about all those big words on the back of your products, you can always get this book from your local library: A consumers dictionary of cosmetic ingredients By Ruth Winter)

The solution: Try Organic Jojoba oil, $7-9 dollars a bottle; it mimics the skin's natural oil, great for acne prone skin! It soaks in quickly w/out that icky oily feeling, and you only need a few drops. One bottle lasts months, and it doesn't go rancid! Jojoba oil is also a carrier oil, so you can even buy a little bottle of your favorite essential oil for about $3 bucks at Whole Foods, and add about 5 drops to your bottle of jojoba oil, and have a scented moisturizer.
Where can you buy it? Whole foods, Trader Joes, or the Natural section of your regular grocery store. Don't be discouraged by the price, your skin will love you!

You can also try Raw Cold Pressed coconut oil, about $12 bucks a jar at Whole Foods, or online. It will get rid of stretch marks, smells awesome, GREAT for tanning; it is practically indestructible to heat, so its an awesome skin protector.

Next time I'll give you some great tips on exfoliators and scrubs!